Los Angeles Organization of Ultimate Teams

Day 8 – Like Skipping Rocks on the Water

Jun 17th, 2016 | By | Category: Game Recaps, Summer League

Before I start, the news is that I found out how to add recaps to the individual games (that appear on the right side of your computer screen or down towards the bottom of your mobile phone) AND how to let users comment on them.  So instead of creating these posts on the front page, starting next week I’m gonna try inserting the recaps directly into the individual game links.  And I’ll send the links on Facebook.

Okay, now to Thursday night’s games.  We start with Danzo Shimura, my team, and Professor Zoom.  I was at the dentist before the game, and had so much novocaine I couldn’t feel or move the right side of my face by game time.  Awkward crooked smiles.  Woz wouldn’t talk in the Spirit Circle, so I talked through my hand out of embarrassment.  (Later at the bar she said if she knew …… she’d probably still make me talk.)

Good game right off the bat.  Points traded.  1-1, 2-2, 3-3.  We finally broke them at 5-3.  Jeeves from Gold makes an insane layout catch on a huck.  That dude is a baller.

Cubby is Hammerlicious

Cubby is Hammerlicious

Cubby…. what else can you say?  He does things that defy logic.  Forget the filthy posterizer on a taller much younger player in the 2nd half.  I’ve seen him do that for 17 years.  The new trick was skipping a hammer off defenders’ hands like a kid skipping rocks on the water.  (I’m changing the title of this post to that.)  Everything he does is unbelievable and that’s why he’s Cubby.

White takes half 8-5.  I was ready for them to pull out their running power on the first point in the 2nd half.  But they didn’t call it.  Dang it.  They called it several points later when I was on the sideline.  Grrrrr.  Their power was augmented cause it was kind of lame in its initial form.  Now anyone on the team can run with the disc for one whole possession until touched.  Very very hard to stop.  But really fun to watch.  Sad I wasn’t in on the point.  They scored.  Effective.  I think that made it 9-7 or some such score.

Andy Dunn, crazy layout catch for Gold.  Oh, Andy Dunn, hand block on yours truly, ON the goal line.  Humble pie.  Sadness.  Reflection.

Not a slow player.

Not a slow player.

Do you know Scrappy?  Oh, you know Scrappy.  Because she’s FASTER THAN THE CHARACTER THAT HER TEAM WAS NAMED AFTER.  And by the way, that guy’s quick.  Dead sprint to the back of the end zone.  No f’ing way she catches up to it.  Wrong.  Full extension.  Wow.  Wow Scrappy.  W- O – capital W.

I’m reminiscing about it right now.


Best play of the year so far.  Tough to beat.  I have to remember to tell Lili Gu so she can incorporate it into my post-season party rap.  What rhymes with Scrappy?  No, what rhymes with missile?

We almost used our power to overturn a call on a goal line pick, but didn’t.  Then almost on a stall, but just simply contested instead.  Finally used it to reverse a foul contest on the corner of the goal line.  Then threw it away.  Then they hucked it away but it never came in.  Back to the goal line.  We scored.  I’m counting it.  Power success!

Oh, you're feelin' it.

Oh, you’re feelin’ it.

Scot Shinderman.  Let’s take a moment to discuss.  Woz wanted him badly in the draft.  I was like, yes, but we can wait.  She’s like now?  I’m like, no, we can wait.  She’s like “if we don’t get Scot now, I’m quitting”.  That is not at all true, but makes the story better.  We finally take him.  You other captains, you all had a chance.  You all saw his name on the board.  You are all suckers.  Hey, how’d Scot play?  Oh, you mean the guy who roasted people deep all night and scored a bunch of goals?  That guy?  Yeah, he was alright.

And a shout out to UCLA BLU and the USC Hellions for providing White with four awesome women who are all really freakin’ good in Sarabi, Papa, Tattoo and Carbo.  I’m pretty sure they all went to Nationals this year.  Shabby it is not.

Final score, Danzo Shimura 15 – Professor Zoom 9.  Game was closer than the score showed.  They were a strong team.

And writing from that strong team is Professor Zoom himself (a.k.a. Colin Whitman):

Professor Zoom

Professor Zoom

Last night my acolytes took the field to battle a team of anime nerds. Their villainry would be no match for the Evil my little Zoomies had in store. Chalk up the W. Zoom.

Apparently no one told Danzo Shimura not to bother showing up, for in their hubris they dared battle my minions. And so, their foolhardy venture began. Suprisingly, icy cool ran through their veins as they marched up the field for a point. Not to be out done, Zoominites battled back with their own perfection possession. Danzo answered. And so did Zoom. And Danzo. And Zoom. All single possession points. I knew we were evil. I didn’t realize just how evil Danzo’s squad could be. Were we playing Club or were we playing Summer League? Surely, whoever turned first would reveal themselves to be the weaker.

Danzo’s paltry skills would surely turn first…. but no. An unnamed captain dropped an easy under 10 yards from the goal. Danzo broke. The captain was flogged. Could Danzo’s power of mind manipulation be underfoot?

Bahhh – I, Professor Zoom, fear no intellect. My name is Professor, duh. But slowly Danzo began their tepid assault, hah! Capitalizing on my minion’s turns, Danzo inched along gaining points. Which Professor Zoom would have no trouble overcoming. Sad. They think they’ll win.

Half. 5-8 Danzo. Lol. What a cute lead. Enjoy your juice boxes, while we crush your souls.

But in the second, my minions seemed befuddled and confused. Could our hubris be a result of Danzo’s mind control? Despite great plays and layouts from Jeeves and Scrappy and Mary and Eok. My Zoominites found themselves sliding deeper into a vat of mental anguish.

Could they not see it was a mirage?? Could they not understand that men over the age of 40 should not be shredding defenses deep, skying 6’5″ players, and juking newbs out of their shorts. What kind of ghastly mind games are underfoot when a team of skin and bones shreds a younger squad?? Fine Danzo. We’ll fight fire, with speed.

I activated my super power and gave my squad super speed. Working up the field, my minions shredded the defense and easily scored. But as the Danzo nerds worked it up the field, they barely got touched in the endzone and mentally warped my acolytes into believing it was truly a foul for the score.

The mental control was too much. My acolytes brains turned to jelly and couldn’t overcome the 9-15 deficit. The Zoominites live on to fight another day. This isn’t over Danzo. This. isn’t. over.


Great game all around. Very high level play at times, and props to Scot and Cubby and Frankie for great plays on Danzo. Mary on our side did an excellent job handling in the zone and Lucas shredding on cuts.

Men over the age of 40 represent a large part of Danzo.  We have by far the most 40+ guys on the team with 8.  Next highest is 5.  The average number of 40+ guys on all the teams that aren’t White is 2.

Danzo is now 2-0 and plays Dark Phoenix (2-0) on Monday.  Zoom is 0-1-1 and takes on Alpha Mimic (0-2) on Tuesday.

The powers went 2-0, and are 16-10 and 4 unused after 15 games.

On the other field, it was Copycat and Calvin.  Here’s Chris Walthers of Copycat:

RecapChrisWalthersCopycat matched up against Calvin in an ultimate skirmish. Is Calvin really a villain in the comics? Maybe it’s Susie Derkins – the next door neighbor who always seems one step ahead of G.R.O.S.S. Or maybe it’s Miss Wormwood and institutionalized education. If I had to cut real deep here I would say the real villain of Calvin and Hobbes is getting old. Of course this is a seriously relevant observation given that Sand/Calvin has an abundance of young talent which they rode to victory tonight.

Yukon Ho! Calvin came out with some big cannons and ran up 2-3 points on literally 2-3 throws. This squad was looking to throw deep any chance they got and did their best impression of the Hammer Bros in Super Mario – relentlessly chucking and with the precision of an infinite decimal. Midway through the first half, Calvin used their super power to replace the disc with a small, dark red frisbee-thing with no center part. Copycat pulled and it went almost nowhere. What ensued was a 25 minute nightmare of terrible ultimate frisbee–like activity. Both teams started out punting that little piece of shit but that really ended up achieving nothing. Eventually both squads figured out to rely on short, quick, easy throws to move the disc, but inevitably someone would lose the disc in the darkness and completely whiff on a catch like someone trying to swat at a fly with their eyes closed. Sooner or later Calvin scored with that dumb plastic thing and we got back to the real sport, and Calvin took half 8-5 or so.

I brought along a heavy dark grey lid for Tupperware (Copycat gets to copy our opponents special skill) and early in the second half we had Calvin pull to us with that little guy. Much like Steph Curry, that Tupperware container is my kitchen MVP. And much like Steph Curry, it blew it under pressure tonight. It has a little vent cover that you can pop off when you are microwaving things and it’s a sturdy container – it’s perfect. It’s been there for me when I was pounding some late night leftover Pad Thai after a few too many, and it’s been there for me when I ate reheated penne with pesto and watched Just Friends after getting dumped. The best of times, the worst of times. But the point of that story is it takes pressure to know who the real MVP is – and Lebron James is a beast. Copycat turned the Tupperware over after 2-3 throws and Calvin scored pretty quickly.
They say Death is undefeated, and now so is Calvin. A relatively uneventful second half led to a 15-10 win for the only good guy among the bad guys.

Unless someone can Benjamin Button some juvenescence in to these other teams, Calvin must be on the short list of teams to watch in the tournament. Or is youth, like glory, fleeting? If I could turn back time, Cher… you and me.

Props to our ladies – 2 of the 3 Lily’s and Emie – for playing so well on Calvin’s women. And congrats to Ben for getting back out there for the first time in 6 months after recovering from a nagging groin injury. I love this team and I can’t wait for the rest of the season. Since there is no men’s league this year, do last years champs get to wear the Championship Belt for an additional year?!?!

On an unrelated note, did everyone know that there are 3 types of French fries available at the Robinhood? Thin cut, normal, and curly fries. What a time to be alive.

I learned a lot about Chris’ food preferences in this recap.  It also made me hungry.  Lunchtime is an hour away and now I’m salivating like Pavlov’s pooch.

We beat Calvin week one.  They’re not undefeated.  But to be fair, they were missing Zodiac, Heist and others.

Calvin is 1-1.  They will meet T-1000 (1-1) on Monday.  Copycat is 0-1-1.  They’ll go up against Vector (2-0) on Tuesday.

The powers went 1-1.  Overall 17-11 with four unused.  Give me a couple days and I will add those to the standings page and the individual game pages.  I’m likin’ this news Sportpress.


After two weeks, only 5 of the 16 teams have gone 2-0 with their powers.  Two of them play Monday in Calvin and Dark Phoenix.

Calvin (1-1) and T-1000 (1-1) will tussle.  Calvin has scored all three points where a non-Frisbee has been played.  That may turn out to be the powerhouse of all powers.

Danzo Shimura (2-0) meets Dark Phoenix (2-0).  There’s six undefeated teams remaining.  Four of them play each other this week.  This game plus the Pinky vs. Azazel game on Wednesday.

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  1. Agreed. Danzo is ridiculous. 40 year olds can’t play ultimate. Go back to bed, you geezers. If you can even walk that far without taking an afternoon nap. In fact, I’m napping right now.

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