Los Angeles Organization of Ultimate Teams

Animal Style vs Retro

Jan 26th, 2017 | By | Category:


After nearly finished undefeated last year, it was quite a shock to see Animal Style start the season 0-2.  Almost as equally surprising was seeing 5-time B Division champ Retro start 0-2.  I mean, what is going on here?  Something had to break.  Somebody had to win.

Here’s Animal Style’s Joanna Whitney to break it all down:

RecapJoannaAs the players start to congregate on the sidelines, putting on cleats, warming up throws, being greedy little animals demanding their jerseys rather than listening to me try to talk about the upcoming game, Animal Style notices that one of the teams seems really low on players and for once it wasn’t us! Retro had six men and two women at the time of the flip and we discussed that they had ladies on the way. So we agreed to a first point of 5/2 to give them a few more minutes to show up to be on ultimate time before they were just plain late. As this was decided Emie from Retro bursts into the stadium in a cloud of smoke with sparklers and a crowd of admirers announcing “I’m here, bitches! Let’s do this!”. It was a sight to behold. You’ll just have to trust me on this. We gave her some time to cleat up, and we start our first point as we agreed. All points after that would be 4/3. If only we had known that the switch over to playing by the rules would be the tallest mountain we would climb all night.

First point showed us the skills of our newest teammate Snacks who, despite being tall and lean – which I assumed would mean a cutter, or maybe that was just wishful thinking, is an additional lefty handler thus rounding out our possibility of a full lefty line. He puts one up to our other new teammate this year, Rob, to start us off 1-1. Rob filled a spot left vacant by a last minute pick up from last season, Brett, who no one has heard from since before the tournament last year and we fear he may have been eaten by the bear from last year’s Kong game (look that reference up if you must).

From there Retro ladies proved to really make the difference. Snooch is everywhere blinding us with her glistening gold pants catching throws just outside the end zone and putting throws up for scores. Melanie is being her badass never resting for a second self, handling, being the dump, running up line, throwing cross field, throwing and receiving scores, and connecting with Snooch for one of them.

Animal is hanging in by a thread with a few pretty plays of our own – Nay and Reed with a love connection after they both were part of the d that caused a turn, long throws from Big Dan to Tall Drew, Snatch with one of his quintessential foul calls up in the air (how is he always getting tangled up with so many dudes?), Adair with the chilly find to Cedar, and a sick low grab when Retro’s Car Crash smacks the disc down right into Snatch’s hands waiting an inch above the ground for a score. All this after Don failed at being an observer and couldn’t decide if Tim was in or out on the sideline. However, despite all that Animal was doing, half was still 5-8 Retro. Our spirits were higher than in previous weeks because we had more subs and thus energy, but I’m not gonna lie, I was starting to worry this season may turn out to be the exact opposite of last year.

We start out on O after the half, that should get us one step closer, yes? Nope. Retro takes first point. We get one with a big swing from Dan to Sauce making it 6-9. Then before we knew it 6-11. Retro’s ever changing zone was really doing a number on us. And then the winds shifted – no not like at LeiOut – metaphorically. Rob makes a sliding catch that drags him about 20 feet and immediately sees Nahall wide open making it 7-11. Snatch with the hand block only a few feet out of our end zone with the short toss to me 8-11. Steve Loh tries to grab the disc from Nahall but her chilly fingers were too sticky for him, 9-11. What is this team and where did they come from?! We were looking like our old selves again. Cedar to Snatch with a throw inches off the ground, 10-11. Retro tries to slow the momentum with a time out. This gave us enough time to convince our teammates we should give Retro a little taste of their own medicine and throw zone. This sealed the deal further. Retro wasn’t prepared for it and they were getting a little tired. Finally the numbers were working in our favor. Our zone caused turns, but Retro wasn’t going down without a fight. 3 different turnovers on both sides. Then Melanie gets a run through d on us. I miss having that girl on my team. Turn again, Animal calls a time. Everyone is looking gassed, but no one is willing to give up the fight and take a sub. Good thing because Julius throws a long put to Drew to tie it all up. We are looking good!

That is until Snacks goes to pull and I don’t even know what happened but all I see is him in a ball of shame on the ground, Retro coming up to the ten yard line and the disc out of bounds across both fields. This was terrible timing, but we’ll forgive him because Buster – who brought him to the team – redeemed him with an intense on the line intimi-d. We work it all the way down the field and my girl Melanie is covering me hard. We are on stall 8 and I see no one in an area I’m comfortable throwing to. I turn and my only hope is Cedar in the end zone who is currently behind his defender. I put up my first ever scoober (in a real game) and it’s iffy – truthfully I have no idea why that’s the throw I chose, but Cedar was ready and got the score, redeeming my shitty scoober. I’ll take it! 12-11. Julius to Snatch to round out our 7-0 run. It’s 10:08pm. We are running on borrowed time. Retro calls a timeout, unaware of what we are up against. We decide on a zone again, it’s been working so well. We get a few groaning concessions to be in the cup, we are on the line…. and the lights go out. Animal Style with their stylish comeback, but anticlimactic ending. 13-11. It was a nice change of pace.

Top reasons the games were ever in our favor tonight. Ranked in order of most likely the cause:

  1. I wore my animal hat for the first time this season.
  2. Our new jerseys were looking fly. Especially the long sleeves that were really like 3/4 sleeves on some people.
  3. Nahall came on time-ish.
  4. The addition of new teammate Snacks and sub pool extraordinaire Adair joining us.
  5. 90% of our team showed up for the first time this season.

I mean it’s a pretty sweet hat. It came from Canada.

Damn!  7-0 run to end the game.  There’s so much to talk about here, without even getting into the hat.  I remember Buster asking me about adding Snacks to her team right around the time she was drinking from the ice luge at Lei Out.  There’s another angle to that story, but I’ll have to save it for when I’m drunk at the tournament.

Nice job popping your scoober cherry.  I think I’m still a scoober virgin, so I can only live vicariously.

Snootch’s pants were indeed amazing.  Did you also see Spazz’s jacket?  Too bad Snatch wasn’t wearing that jacket, cause then I’d make some reference to them doing the Snootch and Snatch Show.  Maybe that should still happen anyway.  Should it be Snootch and Snatch or Snatch and Snootch?  That should be a poll question.


Date Time Competition Season
January 26, 2017 8:00 pm Winter League 2017


Team1st Half2nd HalfFinal Score
Animal Style5813

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