Dionysus vs Artemis


A few years ago, I went to Paris for the first time.  And naturally, I had to go to the Louvre, because that’s what you do after you get down from the Eiffel Tower and eat a baguette.  And two things I found strange at the Louvre.  The first is how trying to see the Mona Lisa is like trying to touch the Pope.  Completely surrounded by a huge wall of glass, and then there’s the insane amount of tourists taking photos of it, all holding their cell phones way above their head to try and get a photo to basically say “I was here”, when honestly I don’t think anyone is interested in your crappy iPhone shot of the Mona Lisa.  It’s enough to say you were there.  We’ll believe you.  But what’s really amazing to me is on the wall opposite the Mona Lisa is this incredible ceiling to floor size painting with incredible detail that noone cared a damn about, and I bet half the tourists never ever see it.  So enthralled are people with the fame of the Mona Lisa that they overlook a much more amazing painting, in my opinion, that’s right behind them.

Similarly, the second thing is when you go to the section of Greek Entiquities, (I think it’s called) you can go see the Venus de Milo statue, or I should say, try to see it through the crowds.  But in the next room over, there’s a statue of Artemis, the Goddess of the hunt, that I loved a lot more, and nobody was gawking at it or taking photos of it, and I found that to be a shame.


If my memory is correct, this statue was done at roughly the same time period as the Venus de Milo (nobody really knows for sure when the VDM was done, or who made it.)  The artistry is more impressive.  And I don’t know, but for some reason I really appreciated this statue.  And I felt like I was the only one.  I wanted to call over to everyone and go, “you mindless herds of populist propoganda!” but then I remembered that I actually don’t know anything about art myself, and I’m probably closer to the mindless herds than I care to admit.

Anyway, that’s my Artemis story.  And now, here’s Joanna Whitney of Artemis with her first Summer League recap of the year.

RecapJoannaDay one of Summer league on the new field in Encino and the night was a little wild and a little chaotic as Dionysus and Artemis took the field (get it? because they’re the Goddess of the Wilderness and the God of Chaos? Anyway…). The battlefield was long and narrow so the two could laser focus in on their opponent. To decide the pull the teams decided on a best of three tasks: 1) Cowboy, Ninja, Bear 2) Trivia 3) Twerk off. From this we learned that all mammals take about 12 seconds to poop no matter their size, and that Cubby thinks twerking just means pelvic thrusting. It was a strange way to start.

Dionysus chose sides, which played right into Artemis’ strategy to be able to score first and call up the Titans to let us score again. We took the fields at 8:30 since it took the lights that long to come back on after going out on our warmups, and executed our plan. First two points in the bag. I’m pretty sure if one goddess was going to be Wonder Woman, it would be Artemis because of her realm, but also because of how awesome this team is already.

Seth had been apparently talking smack about how he has the best team in the league and that they were going to handily beat us this week. Looks like you’re wrong so far!! Dionysus answered back with a point and it goes back and forth the whole first half until 6-6. They had found their groove and were making us pay for calling upon the Titans so quickly. They returned that slap by calling their own and over turning a foul call. They got a few passes off that and then turn, then turn on our part, then a score for Dionysus, so I guess technically that power was successful even though once removed? 7-6 Di. Looking like a real game for the first one out of the gate.

Somewhere around here T-Tom was covering Evan and as Evan released a low throw T-Tom blocked the throw by moving into the space, and the disc hit his leg. Artemis scoops it up make a few plays and scores. After the score there was discussion of footblocks. Was that one? I guess technically yes since it hit his leg. Was it an intentional footblock? No. Evan didn’t want to call it especially after play had continued without a call. We discussed and figured out it is probably technically a footblock AND that they still aren’t allowed. The more you know. Since the rules were up, when Di called a timeout we had to check about the 2 subs rule. You’d think after all these years we’d remember what the rules are, but maybe the beer wipes all that out at the end of the night, the world may never know.

Di goes on to take half 8-7. However, Artemis comes out with the same fury as in the first half to go up 9-8, maybe even 10-8? I don’t know, I don’t take notes the same way I do in Winter League. I was a little too “amped up!” as Elmo would say. Di comes back. Trading points. A little grumble about a pick called when Snatch scored, but it wouldn’t be an LA ultimate game if Snatch didn’t know exactly what happened both in front of and behind him.

Seth pulls himself from the game due to his ankle injury and decides that his team does better without him. At the very least, the area did get louder with him on the sidelines. The teams bring it to 14-12, I think. Crunch time. Artemis scores a fast one. 14-13. We’re playing for extra points right now. Pull goes up, they may have gotten one or two passes and…. LIGHTS OUT. Always frustrating when that happens. What ever happened to nice people who leave the lights on longer? Damn economy. Dionysus wins by a hair, but only ties us at winning the bar afterwards. My goal for the team before the game was to at the very least beat the God of Wine Drinking at the party. Until we meet again at the end….

So in both of the first two games I’ve gotten recaps so far, we’ve seen that the strategy is to score first, and immediately use the power of Mnemosyne to get the pull back and try to go up 2-0 early.  Makes the initial game for pull even more important than normal.  And I don’t need to think about Cubby doing the pelvic thrust, unless he’s on stage at the Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight showing.

(I really wanted to add the words “in bed” after paragraph 5.)

So that “foot block” really ended up factoring into the final score.  If Artemis scores that point, maybe it’s them up 15-14 in the end.  I would’ve loved to see the play.  My grievance with foot blocks has always been that the force of kicking someone’s hand can lead to serious injury.  And that’s the reason I remove them from Summer League.  But if someone moved into a space to get position, and wasn’t kicking their foot up to block the throw, then I wouldn’t be as bothered by that.  But I still appreciate that the two sides erred on the side of caution and safety when in question.

And now, here’s the winning side.  This is Dionysus’ Seth Gillum:

RecapSethThere’s no winning a party. As an earthly representative of Dionysus, you can trust me on that one. It’s the collective enjoyment that makes a party great. Sure, sometimes people will try to dictate a winner, but it’s really just to spice things up a little bit. We should all be winners at the end of a good party. Silver came in strong force to the bar post game. As did Dionysus. And while Dionysus may have stayed a little bit longer, it’s not something one could nor should take pride in “winning”.

And so it was with the game. The psychological games started early and often with Silver’s own Felix trying his hand at smack texting (Like smack talking, only for texts??) But it was of the good natured sort, and a reminder that Silver was going to BRING IT tonight. The problem for Dionysus is that there’s no bloody way anyone can have a clue what Silver will bring. I’ve played with and against a lot of those players before. Will it be deep bombs? Crazy hammers? Blade flicks? Sure and steady? Silver as a team is like mixing a smooth gin martini and then saying fuck it- I bet this would taste great if I added a few shots of fireball.

The game got off to a quick start with the traditional twerk off to determine pull (Bubbles vs. Cubby – neither knew it was a twerk off when they volunteered). Silver received, scored, and promptly used the power to make us pull to them. Silver, up 2-0, played a huck heavy game. And Dionysus didn’t have it’s offensive mojo working just yet. It looked grim. But with time and familiarity, we got our mojo working and managed to take half 8-7. Second half was intense. Silver took a lead, we grabbed it back. 14-12, Silver scores. 14-13. Game could go either way. Then the lights go out. Victory Dionysus? OK, we’ll take it. But it felt to me much more like a party. A good time had by all, with lots of good stories to share. Great play from everyone.

Speaking of stories – add in your favorite plays from the game in the comments below. So many great plays from so many players, Please forgive me for not calling out every one of you. For my one story, I’m going with-
Our newest and youngest (Molly) player threw a score in her first league game. As the recall, the receiver (gabe) said after the game, “I knew I was open, and I saw she was nervous about that throw, but I just kept mouthing DO IT DO IT”

Molly is a second generation Ultimate player, the daughter of Michael Schwartz.  Always great to see the kids of Ultimate players join the league.  I’m sure it’ll be the first of many great games for her.  BTW Jane Carlin had a great suggestion for getting newbies more involved in the game.  She suggested newbie scores are worth 2.  I loved the idea, and almost implemented it this year.  But then I got worried that if people knew that, they’d guard the newbies harder than normal, and that seemed to be counter-productive.  Fantastic idea though, and maybe someone has a way to refine it better so we can use it in future years.

And Seth, wow, great job pulling up that old party invite.  I stopped paying for the website that hosted those invites years ago.  But nice to see they live on in the archives somewhere.


Date Time League Season
June 7, 2017 12:00 am Summer League 2017


Sepulveda Basin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *