Los Angeles Organization of Ultimate Teams

Hestia vs Aphrodite

Jun 28th, 2017 | By | Category:


It’s kind of interesting to me that I played on a team with Dave Patton many many years ago,  and in Summer League I played on a team with Debi Patton, but so far, to the best of my memory, I haven’t played on any team with Dylan Patton.  It’s actually very similar with the Landesmans.  I’ve played on numerous teams with Jeff, and a couple with Laura.  And I also played with Kathryn at the Santa Barbara Classic, and with Jessie in St. Pat’s Hat, but I’m not 100% sure I’ve ever played on a team with Danny.  I’m sure it’ll happen at some point on some tournament, but for whatever reason, the stars haven’t quite lined up yet.

A question I sometimes ask people at bars is: Who is the one person you’ve never played on a team with that you would most like to play with?  In thinking it over, I think I’d put both Dylan and Danny at the top of the list.  Also, I don’t think I’ve ever played on the same team as Punky.  I don’t know how that’s possible.  But I think it might actually be true.  So put her up there too.

Although, I admit, sometimes I’ve looked up old Summer League rosters I was on, and I’m like “oh my God, I played with that guy?  I don’t even remember that at all!”  So I’m sure there’s an old Huck It or One Love or TiV or SB Classic or Lucky 7’s or St. Pat Hat or some other roster that I’d look at and say the same thing.  That’s gonna happen when you’ve played for nearly 20 years in LA.

And now, here’s the recap from the game last night at JAMS.  This is Dylan Patton:

RecapDylanSlightly drunk recap

Oh my god that game was bananas y’all you have no idea, but for real what happened was we showed up and we played against Aphrodite the red team and they had these two fucking fast little high school kids, actually they’re freshman in college but they look like high school kids and then they had Manos or whatever the fuck his name is and this other guy who could huck it really well and some really good women and then this one little Asian woman in particular who is really short but really good. But you know Hestia, we got ballers on the bench, ready for action. No matter how many times we turn it, we get that shit back. We punt that shit for fun. So many net gains. But for real the first half was really really sloppy but it was all good because we took half at 8-6 cause we play sick d, nah straight up cancerous d.

But the second half went oh so much better for us because we scored seven points to their one point and we had some sick fucking hugs from Ed Melo as usual and I had a 360 Mac grab in the end zone. And then Aphrodite tried to come at us with some zone but we broke that shit and then my boy fuckin Evan Julien caught a sick hammer from my girl Gabe, that shit was so tight. And then to end the game I remember my boy Ed Melo threw a sick ass motherfucking huck to our main lady Jaime, and she had hats flyin’ all at her back but it didn’t phase her none. MVPs on Aphrodite were Magma and Devin, I think that’s how they’re spelled. Then Aphrodite chose an MVP on Hestia, and it was ya boy truly, D Pizzle. We used the stall count power and got a break with it, and they used the hat power and failed epically with it. That’s about it. Thanks for reading y’all.

Love, Dylan P.

P.S. almost forgot about a legit “get that shit out of my house” D by Hestia’s own, Eric Benedict. And then the AMAZING FUCKING, karaoke at the bar afterwards by the one, the only, Andy Bandit. I will post the video with Andy’s Permission.

You have my permission.  I went out to the game specifically because of Wednesday night karaoke at Joxer’s.  Let’s see who’s playing next Wednesday.  Oh, it’s Spike and Remy’s team again.  Nice.  Playing Chris and Joy’s team.  Chris and Joy will karaoke.  Or will they?  I don’t know.  At least they’ll dance.  They are after all former dance winners at the Summer League party.

15-7 is one of the rare sorta blow outs of the year so far.  We’ve only had 5 games so far where the losing team failed to score 10.  Through the same number of games last year, that happened 15 times.

Hestia has two of those games.  No team has scored more than 11 against them.  And at 5-0, they lead the league now.  Impressive for a team that finished in the bottom half of the pre-season poll on who you thought would win the league based on the rosters.


Date Time Competition Season
June 28, 2017 8:00 pm Summer League 2017


Team1st Half2nd HalfFinal ScorePower SuccessPower FailPower Unused

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  1. Andy, you actually did play with Dylan at Trouble In Vegas two years ago. We had sick Pac Man costumes designed by Kate!

  2. Drunken talk to text recaps at 2 AM are generally NOT the best idea Dylan. There are moms who read these things for crying out loud!

    Hestia vs. Aphrodite

    A more family friendly recap by Debi Patton (this is to off set Dylan’s drunken rap version)

    This was Hestia’s first game at the John Adams Middle School fields in Santa Monica and as forewarned the security was very tight. There was a lot more stretching on our side line than usual since the only place to throw was the outdoor basketball courts. Once we gained access to the field the first 10 minutes was spent setting up the cones and running a quick drill. Then it was 7 on the line.

    Hestia knew that between the late start time and the strict 10:00 lights out policy that there would be no room for lots of unforced turn overs, long points and ill advised hucks. But did that stop us from doing it anyway? Nope! And before we knew it the game was tied at fours with Aphrodite actually scoring their fourth point with a Callahan. Our defense was looking great with Enway Melo’s sneaky ninja poaches and Dylan Patton winning 50/50s, which is why we kept getting the disc back… but our offense was cloggy and out of sync. A time out was called so Hestia could discuss what was needed to improve our offensive flow.

    Our time out didn’t quite fix what was ailing our flow. Aphrodite was moving the disc too well and we had our hands full with Magma, Devin Miller and Nick Manos and the Goddess of Love and Beauty railed off another couple of points.

    Hestia’s offense was still looking a bit disheveled but we managed to take it to half with an 8 to 6 lead just like last week. But it was too close for comfort. Hestia needed to tighten that chastity belt again and keep that damn Aphrodite OFF OUR LAWN!

    In the second half things started to open up for Hestia and our flow improved once we stopped stepping on each other’s cuts and started throwing to open players. Duh…


    Gabe’s cross field hammer to Evan for a score 13-7.

    Dylan catching a “D’d” disc for point 14-7

    Skipper’s huck to Enway for game point.

    Final 15-7

    And for those of you who didn’t make it out to the bar…. You missed some damn fine Karaoking by Alex Cary and Andy Bandit (who obviously has some latent Vegas performer tendencies).

  3. I did. I can’t believe I forgot what happened just two years ago.

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