Demeter vs Hephaestus


I found this really interesting Pinterest page with small pieces of dialogue between Gods.

Like this one between Demeter and Hephaestus:


There’s a whole bunch of them at this Pinterest page:

I’m not sure where these come from originally, but it’s interesting that someone’s writing them somewhere.  Some of them are pretty funny.

That’s my recommendation for the day.

And here, with the recap of the Demeter/Hephaestus game at JAMS, this is Demeter’s very successful novelist Eric Brach:

RecapBrachHot update for this week: THE JERSEYS ARE IN, AND THEY ARE **GREAT**. They’re super comfortable, and they look outstanding — like whoever designed them is very talented, and is probably also super fun, with a charming personality and winning smile. I don’t know. I’m just guessing.

Decked out in their fresh new threads, Demeter and Hephaestus met at John Adams Middle School. Due to a number of last-minute no-shows, Demeter was down to just 10 players. Five women is not so tough, but as it turns out, five men is really shorthanded. One sub all game? Ooph. Hephaestus, on the other hand, was sporting a giant squad of about 1,000 metal-smiths. Seriously giant — I haven’t seen so many Tall Toms together outside Brobdingnag. (It’s a literary reference. Feel free to look it up.) They spent their warm-ups playing what appeared to be a giant game of tag in their end zone. They seemed happy, but to the ten of us eyeing a long, sub-less game ahead, it just looked tiring.

The match began, and after trading a couple points, Demeter used her power to call Grant — who was already wearing a green shirt underneath his orange — to come on over and play a guest point. This was both strategic and necessary, as by that point, having subbed maybe once, I thought I could feel bits of my own lung trickling up and out my esophagus.

Anyway, it was nice to borrow an extra guy from our opponents, and Grant played a great point, executing an excellent deep cut to score a goal against his own team. I guess it’s a hard power to have used on you, and I guess you could in theory just drop the pull or something on purpose, but what’s the point of that? I know if I got called over to play a guest point, I wouldn’t sandbag it. I’d play hard, too. Much respect.

Demeter took half 8 to 6, but Hephaestus fought right back to tie it at 9’s. It was clear the game was going to be capped, as the games at Santa Monica often are, and at one point, Demeter found themselves up 11-10 having just missed a chance to score an insurance goal. As Hephaestus was walking the disc back up to their own end zone line, though, the groundskeeper informed everyone that the time was up and the game should stop.

Now, I’ve both won and lost games because the lights have gone out, but this was even rougher all around — being told that time has run out and to stop playing, even when the lights are on? It felt like the worst way to lose or win a game. However, some entreaties from the sidelines convinced the groundskeeper to let us play out that last point.

It wasn’t quite universe — it wasn’t win or lose for both squads; it was win-tie or tie-lose — but it still had great tension. Both teams had numerous chances to score, yet no one seemed quite able to punch it in… but after a number of trades of possession, Stephanie “First Women’s Pick in the Draft” Pritchard showed off how she earned herself that nickname, breaking free for a huck in 1-on-1 coverage to close it all out.

Final: 12-10 Demeter. It was a great game on all sides… and I think all the no-shows owe us next week’s beer.

Brobdingnag.  I looked it up.  It makes sense.  Well played sir.

Reminds me of watching Mystery Science Theater 3000.  They would throw out the most obscure entertainment references ever, knowing that only one or two people would get it, but oh if you were one of those one or two people.  That’s just magic right there.  Like MST3K is talking only to you, and now that they know you get the joke, they’re gonna invite you out for drinks and be your new bff’s.  That’s how it always played out in my mind.

Sounds like once again the Hat D power wasn’t used.  He didn’t mention it, so I’m assuming it didn’t get used.  Sad couple weeks for Hat D’s.

That sucks to get kicked off the fields with the lights on.  Man, JAMS is super strict on the time.  Feels like another poll.  Is it worth it to play on a turf field when they only let you play 90 minutes, and they’re strict about it?  I don’t think any game played at JAMS has gone to 15 yet.

Hephaestus falls to 0-5, one of only two teams that hasn’t won a game yet.  Would you ever believe a team with Grant Boyd and Jane Carlen would be winless?  Talk about the complete reverse of how their Winter League went.

And now, a little late but we include a newcomer to the recap scene.  Also new to Summer League.  This is Taylor Thewes, aka TayTayHollywood.  I think you’re gonna like it:

RecapTayTayHeph v. Demeter


Timeline of events:

  • Everyone waited for lacrosse practice to end.
  • Heph threw discs at each other.
  • Da Meters had very few people.
  • Frisbee started.
  • Captain Ma’am Jane made a greattt bid.  She would later go on to whisper to me, “I didn’t actually need to lay out, but I’m all about keeping up appearances…”
  • I didn’t pay much attention to The Meaters because I didn’t know I’d be doing a recap.



  • I unfortunately never read a recap.


Back to the future:

  • Young gun Pierce had a couple scores for Heph I think.
  • Victoria and Drew really impressed with their handling.
  • Grant scored for the other team when they brought him over with a power.  Real team player that Grant, thanks for everything Grant.
  • One of the dudes on Les Metres had a headband that made him look like he just came from a hospital to treat his head injury in the 40s.
  • Comet danked a A Mietur with a sick D she snatched while playing that free safety.
  • Soren danked Another Meet-her with another sick D while playing that a football position.
  • The game stayed really tight throughout the first half.
  • Das Meeyteers’ women made tons of incredible catches all day.
  • Ringo and Sam put in lots of yung hu$tle all day.
  • Boortz will be Boortz, and as Boortz does, he positively Boortzed all over the field in the best and most Boortzy way possible.
  • Sonja and Nicholas Gunnett continue to be the most pleasant teammates an ole fella could hope for.
  • Gloves was a real team player with solid communication.  Fun dude to play with.
  • Heph might have lost, but I’m not super big on attaching scores to events in my life because I like to view each day as an overall win if I get to end it by playing a fun game amongst good people.
  • Nice job Demeter!
  • >Dylan didn’t walk away with a literal win, but he did leave with our metaphorical hearts.
  • I met Un M. named Randy, and he was very friendly.  Always a pleasure to meet a fellow gentleman.
  • Jane asked if anyone wanted to do the recap.
  • Nobody wanted to do the recap.
  • Jane said she would do the recap.
  • Jane asked via email if anyone wanted to do the recap later that night.
  • I tiredly tried to be a team player and volunteered myself as a last resort.
  • I woke up to Jane saying I was the man for the job.
  • Regretted life decisions.
  • Regretted never reading a recap or even inquiring about one since I scavenged the website for the bank of them and couldn’t find anything.
  • Regretted not being sufficient at scavenging the website.
  • Wrote this.
  • Went outside to put some more time on De (Parking) Mater.

Bravo sir.  Bravo!  Do more of these please.  Surprised that Dem Eaters or even Damn Eaters didn’t make an appearance.  Or if you want to get even more creative.

Or for those musically inclined:



Date Time League Season
July 6, 2017 12:00 am Summer League 2017


John Adams Middle School

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