According to an account I read, Hephaestus was 6’5″ and 645 lbs. I’m not sure how that works exactly. Does that mean he’s built out of rock or something? I looked up how much The Thing from the Fantastic Four weighed. I saw him officially listed at 6 feet, 500 lbs. So Hephaestus is even heavier than a guy made of rocks. Researching further (because it’s early Saturday morning and this helps me get over my hang over) I found that Colossus of the X-Men when fully armored with steel is 7’5′ and 500 lbs. So Hephaestus is even heavier than a guy made completely out of metal.
I’m just saying he’s a big guy. I figured he must have rock hard abs, so when I googled Hephaestus Rock Hard Abs, it actually came up with Zeus Rock Hard Abs as the first result. I thought, oh, that’ll be interesting, since Hephaestus played Zeus last night.
But when I clicked on it, not Gods or Goddesses at all. Zeus is actually Zeus Collins, a castmate on Pinoy Big Brother in the Phillipines.
Here’s his rock hard ab pic, cause I know you’re wondering now:
I know that made your day. Your welcome.
And now, here’s fellow Phillippino Don Macatangay of not-Zeus-Collins Zeus:
Before I get started I wanted to apologize for the late recap. I was just busy today and then I come home to someone parking in our spot so I left a note asking them to move because I’m a nice FUCKIN’ GUY! I come down stairs again and I find that they repark to let ANOTHER CAR IN OUR SPOT so there are now TWO cars in our tandem spot that do not belong to us!!! OOOOOHH HELL NO!!! So I tow just one of their cars and leave them another note because I’m a NICE FUCKIN’ GUY!
MAN I’M JACKED. I feel like fighting somebody.
But anyway… Thursday night… Thursday night…
It was a fun game Thursday night with Hephaestus. We started the game by using our power of Metis and unfortunately failed and then immediately got broken again! going down 0-2. This game we had another slow start and Hep was missing a key lady in Jane, UGH JANE.
We came around and tied it up and then traded points until hitting halftime. (I forgot who took half but I believe it was 8-7?) During the second half they use their power of Prometheus and brought Hoover onto their team. Fortunately Hoover never touched the disc? But they end up scoring so successful power?
During the second half we traded points again til we got to 12-12 but then closed out 15-12.
Zeus would also like to say our farewell this season to Stork who will be flying back to Portland for the rest of the summer to visit the family before school starts up again. You played great for us this season and there definitely was improvement from your first to last game! We hope to see you do some great things with the Hellions next season! (I don’t know if this is an actual picture of Stork but I couldn’t help but post this from her facebook page)
-Learning to keep score using binary
-How a baggy sweater makes Hoover look like a punk kid
-Creamer’s manipulative nature
-Natalie Wilson wearing the wrong shade of orange
-Stork wearing the wrong shade of yellow
-Where has Pat been?
-Sundar sweats a lot
-Sonja didn’t make jello shots
-Still trying to have “Tower”, Linus’ nickname, to stick
-Is John the only white Cal Tech kid?
-Helena and OP are starting to talk more
-If you stare Stephen Lam down he will feed you fries
-Jeff has a hot “girlfriend”
-and Lu can get peer pressured into going to the bar
And yeah… I think that’s it.
I defaulted Zeus at 8-7 at half unless someone tells me otherwise.
There’s a lot of things Lu can get pressured into. And then there’s a lot of things he will bail on after getting pressured into doing it.
You kept score doing binary? Then I’m surprised you didn’t list the final score as 1111 to 1100. Do it right Don!
Jane might not have been there. But it didn’t stop her from sending in a recap of the game from Hephaestus’ side:
This is my recap for last night’s game, which I wasn’t at:
Here are some things that I think happened at the game, recognizing that I don’t know who was there because people forget to fill out the attendance (*cough cough*):
– Dylan showed up in mocs and socs. Taylor brought his cleats for him.
– Grant threw a ridiculous half-field hammer with his off-hand for a score and on his next throw almost turfed a five-yard swing pass but Ringo layed out to save it.
– Zenon scored our first three goals.
– Boortz threw at least one of those goals and his dog barked for him.
– We threw a zone and it only worked on odd-numbered points. Hoover broke free for a goal against our 6’5 deep-deep by hiding.
– We called a string of Sarabi -> Dune -> Drew -> Comet and it almost worked until Fatty Lu got a poach D on the last pass. My imaginary self whispered to Creamer “How come Lu is always making amazing plays when I’m playing against him and never when I’m on his team? Why does Lu hate me??”
– Soren got a great endzone D but it tipped to a Zeus player and they caught it for the goal. Then Soren quietly cursed at himself in german.
– Nick volunteered to write the recap : )
And yeah, we probably lost, but I’m convinced that we’ll win next week because I’ll still be out of town and I just have this feeling our first win will come when I’m not there, cause that’s so Hephaestus. (For those who don’t know, god Hephaestus was lame with crippled feet.)
How’d I do?
p.s. Nick says he’ll write the recap next week
I can’t wait to find out. Can someone who was there please score her?
|July 14, 2017||12:00 am||Summer League||2017|
|Rancho Cienega Recreation Center|