Hermes vs Hera


In the 1997 Disney movie Hercules, Hermes voices by David Letterman’s sidekick Paul Schaffer, has this scene with Hera.


I haven’t seen the movie in a long time, so I’m guess since he’s the messenger God, he’s bringing them from someone else.  According to myth, Zeus used Hermes to distract Hera from all his mistresses.  Hermes was always running interference for the big guy.  Crap job Hermes got.

But Hermes had plenty of love affairs himself, so he was well taken care of.  Don’t you worry about him.

And don’t worry about Hermes’ team either.  They’re doing just fine as Kumbha explains:

RecapKumbhaAlright everyone. I know you’ve all been waiting for this. So – last night we played against the Neon Pink team. (i reread this…damn i say alright and anyway a lot, im not good at transitions)

Randomly at the bar, I just started asking people on Hermes if they wanted to write the recap. Literally everyone turned me down. It’s not that I didn’t want to write it, but I wanted to hear some other voices. I am sure the readers out there also want to hear a voice other than mine. Anyway, because I was so hurt that no one wanted to participate, I tried to convince everyone to turn in a sentence or two, a logline of sorts to the groupme, and I said I would write my recap around their sentences. My co captain Klepto took this as – she didnt have to write a recap either, just send in a sentence. I can’t fault her.

So lets work backwards. I went to sleep after 4:30 AM. It was horrendous, but also I made a conscious decision at 2 AM, that late nights and amazing conversations with good friends are what you remember in life, not that time you were tired at work the next day. But I did around 3 am get that late night. Or for me, the red eye flight eye burn and stomach nauesea. Okay I am actually just going to go in order of the night because this is hard.

So we played in Encino. We show up, our entire team is there before the other team has 5 people. This happens a lot for the record. I love our team. Klepto and i instilled an arrive at 730/745 habit in our team from Day 1. Its awesome. More hangout time for all of us. Garrett the Carrot told me that Nate and Steph were going to be late. I was looking forward to seeing them both all league, so I was a bit bummed. But I lug of course. They didn’t end up being able to make it, but Nate and I talked after and I will be hanging out at his new pad with my other favorite people Emma and Connie, so we rain checked our drinks at the bar. I was also very sad, because I really wanted a sick Steph recap about our game, but now my recap won’t look as bad in comparison, so theres pros here too.

I don’t know a ton of people on their team…. oh also, I thought I was going to submit a short intro paragraph and then just copy & paste peoples one liners. But that has already failed…. okay, so takeaways from the game.

I haven’t played SL with Brandon since we met back in the Gold Room days because the in between years I have missed the games we play his team, and jesus he has only gotten faster. There was nothing like throwing a huck to someone semi open, and watching Brandon identify the target and sprint 50 yards and beat them to the disc. Some dude on their team from Stanford whose apparently a perma sub was slayingggg – I forgot his name. But I will find out later on. He was open every single cut. Mei was a rock for them in the backfield, and lish was doing her fast thing subbing for someone though not sure who. Dr. Dre aka Drea (not sure if thats her real nickname or just something Klepto made up) and their tall lady and lady in a pale pink shirt were all very reliable cutters and getting the disc open for gainers on the open and break side. They had one dude who had a lot of nice hucks too. Sorry to the rest of pink who I don’t know your names. And Garrett the Carrot did okay 😉

On the Hermes side, I’ll be honest. Klepto Frankie and I were commiserating at the bar about how we felt a tad slow, getting old is hard lemme tell ya. We actually had a pretty small roster for the night, so everyone got a lot of touches and played a ton. Some standout performances from ya boi Sober sky city, Maxs legs – the kid is so fast its outrageous, one of our resident fathers Darren getting yards of separation from his defender, our biggest cheerleadering crew Ash, Austin, and Pez, Noodle had an amazing trash pickup layout thing, our sub Corteezy making it look easy. I made a rhyme. Jack Briskie is honestly bae. Warming up throws with him I learned he can actually throw very far, and I hope he throws hucks in our last two games. Viv had some dope grabs per usual with #glovehand, Spazs fakes still fake me out as his dump, and Judge her usual versatile self filling in to any role we need and just being consistent as fuck. Second game-r Camden Bickel rolled through with some amazing shutdown defense, and equally as good deep cuts. I guess I should also mention Matt Burke or he will probably get mad. Known for telling me everything I did wrong in a point (but lug), Burkes killing it as an ISO cutter for us out of the stack, and is also responsible for the final push to change our offensive strategy. Always slaying, always playing like a dirty animal.

Couple #2 Spencer and Coldslaw decided to go on an island getaway couples weekend on a Thursday, and alas. we missed them dearly, a few sicknesses and injuries we missed James and Wall-E, both my lugs on the field and at the bar BUT see all you betches Monday for our second to last game against the other green team.

Alright moving on to some TLDR loglines from the team before I talk about the bar.

SPAZ: Achievement unlocked: Both teams complained about my (lack of) DJ skills

SOBER: Win this for Cortez so she can go home to Brandon crying on the couch!!

VIV: Jean needs to get herself checked out, she keeps talking about some itch she has down there… (maybe it’s because we keep losing by a hair )

JACK BRISKIE: The game really went as expected when the goal is to “throw 25 turnovers this game”. Pink is just lucky they caught us between Hermes outbreaks.

**Unfortunately he’s quoting me and my play reflected this. Was not a good night.

AUSTIN BARKLEY: For those of you wondering, no Jean did not put out like she said she would .

DARREN: Just got home and it’s already tomorrow, fml

*He finally chose us over his wife and kid and came to the bar with us and we kept him out very very late, it was awesome.

FRANKIE: Did some Kumbha order a bag o’ dicks?

*There was a sparkly pickle GIF included, but I can’t find it anywhere and also just google sparkly pickle.

KLEPTO: Everyone is always judging my life choices, including my bank. (See bank photo)


CORTEZ: The one point with Jack getting the disc every other was awesome to watch and we scored as well. Also… “Does anyone want some of my baileys cheesecake” –(Judge)… “Who’s Bailey?” –(Kumbha)

Alright so we all went to Robin Hood… tbt old times at Balboa all other years. Nothing says welcome like a 1030 PM happy hour $3.50 Beer. literally. fuck you joxers and your $9 shots. alright, so strong showing from hermes, again. everyone came minus jack who we missed. there were some pink people mentioned below. dan perahya reppin all of ares on his back, and a few white people in the mix, zazu lug. there was great food, great conversation, and great drinks. the photo was the people who won the bar, and its us as we took a shot, dropped the mic, and left. boom boom.


anyway, i had stimulating conversations with everyone around me. and i am in a lug mood. we went over some of my favorite highlights from college, christies 21st birthday, jean and i’s escapade into judaism, and many more. the USC crew left the bar a little before 2 AM. our DD noodle bb drove our asses to jeans place, where me and matt and kleppy and zazu proceed to have another drink and cuddle on the couch and chat some more. jean bitched out at 230 or so, prompting matt to leave, and zazu and i proceeded to stay up chatting until 430 am. what a night.


ALSO – let me say something about winning the bar. ITs always subjective. BUT. Every single week after every single game, our entire team (give or take the two fathers, both who came last night though!) have come to the bar, and every night, members of our team have won the bar in terms of being there last and latest, I credit this to the USC carpool 100%. We are always there last. We also instigate fun at the bar, shots, and we only hope that our opponents come out too. Last night Drea, Stanford Person, Garrett the Carrot, and Mei, and Lish held down the fort for Pink . To be clear, lish only drove to Van Nuys to sub to come to the bar with us, that also should say something. Anyway, I don’t care if other teams recognize that Hermes wins the bar, but I know we do, and Klepto and I are obssessed with this team and lug all of you. Anyway, if anyone ever wants to party at the bar, hit up Hermes – also shameless plug for everyone to go to Joxers on Wednesday for Karaoke whether its post game or just post work. See you there 😉

we took an amazing team photo last night, but then i realized its on my disposable camera… the times we live in.


The Stanford player was Xavier Mignot.  He is a 3rd round replacement, but I’ve already been told I screwed up, and he’s really a 2nd rounder.  My bad.  But Hera is not winning games, so I guess if you’re gonna make a one round mistake, this is not the worst team to make it for.

Klepto’s bank judging her is amazing.  My bank never turns down those transactions.  They know me too well and have long since given up.

Yeah Kumbha, you’re old.  Yeah.

We will definitely be there for the final karaoke night at Joxer’s next Wednesday.  I don’t mean it’s the last night that Joxer’s will have karaoke, but it’s the last Summer League game to be played on Wednesday this season.

Next week’s poll question will be about winning the bar.  I’m curious what people’s top criteria is.

Anyone know the half-time score?


Date Time League Season
July 21, 2017 12:00 am Summer League 2017


Sepulveda Basin

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