There’s so much to get to today, there’s no time for an introduction. Also, I still might be hungover from last night at Joxer’s. I will say though, coolest bartender at Joxer’s. Some old dude ordered a full glass of peach schnapps, and paid for it, but got offended by something (she wasn’t clear what happened) and he promptly left. So even though the undrank Peach Schnapps was sitting on the bar, she tossed that and completely remade a new batch, and gave it to our group for free, saying it was on the old guy. That was really cool of her. She didn’t have any reason to do that. I think she likes us. It was probably Mike Dow’s rendition of Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” that touched her.
Okay, back after a one week hiatus, let’s start with today’s Crunch Cap.
WELCOME BACK TO THE ONE, THE ONLY, CRUUNNNNNCCHHH CAP FUR ALLLLLL YUR SUMMUR LEAGUE DEEEEEETZZ
I am deeply sorry for my absence last week, I got too carried away adulting with actual work. Crazy, I know.
I am also not drunk. I was too incapacitated last night after karaoke to write, also lowkey didn’t have my laptop on me.
Now, on the dark eve of Wednesday, July 26th of 2017 took place a battle of THE FRISBEEEEEEE KIND between CHRONOS GOD OF TIME and APOLLO GOD OF MUSIC, LIGHT?,HEALING? Idk I’m getting confused at this point on this google search…
And oh BOIIIIIIIII twas KARAOKE NIGHT
Chronos YET AGAIN not only WON THE MUTHAFUCKIN BAR but also took the big W 15-13 on the field. And boiiii are there some SICKKKKK FUCKIN HIGHLIGHTS TO SHARE
OOOOOONNNTO THE SAVAGE REPORT:
ERIQ MUTHAFUCKIN SIEGELLLLLLLLLLL HAD….THE.SICKEST…LAYOUT CATCH! CHROHOMIE WAS SENT DEEP BY DAN THE MAN, DOT, WITH A BEAUTIFUL HUCKARINO and SNAGGGGEEDDD THAT GOOD GOOD FULL EXTENSION! Great form, great effort, great spirit, a man of many talents INCLUDING HAVING ALSO THE HIGHLIGHT VOICE CRACK OF THE CENTURY, but all in good fun cuz he was rootin for his team on sweet turnover. BUT L M A FUCKIN O, I DIDNT KNOW WE REPLACED OUR 19 YR OLD UCLA MAN WITH A 13 YR OLD BOY. @ERIQQQQQQQ also made some DICEY catches (@tattoo for throwing a SHAT dump) and got lots o scores for us good ol CHROBROS…ALSO SO PROUD OF DIS MAN COMIN OUT TO THE BAR FINALLY FOR A FUN FILLED NIGHT OF SINGIN A THOUSAND MILES WITH JULIA JOHNSON!
ROBINNNNNNN, HOMIE ALSO HAD A SIIICKKKKKKK LAYOUT GRAB IN THE ENDZONE after the disc was tipped by the first intended receiver (my memory cannot recall but I’m sure you know who you are hoe) AND ROBIN COMES IN WITH THE FUCKIN CLEAN LAYOUT SNAG for. the. scoRRRREEEEEEE. twas lit. the field was aflame. Kwok, I believe it was, GOT QUITE RILED UP and claimed this SQUEAKY CLEAN SNAG was down, but WHEN IT WAS DEEMED UP…well… homie did a little angry dance with his shirt over his head P SHOOK
Chronos had a sweet point where every single person on the field touched the disc, TALK ABOUT TEAM CHEMISTRY AMIRIGHT!?
FRIAR WICK AKA MA MAN STEVE had a BEASTLY D ON KWOK!
HAZEL had a sweet D, and LEAH got lots o touches on dat discy disc
NOW TO GET TO SOME BUSINESS AT THE END OF THE GAME….. and I don’t mean to stir any pots cuz we all just havin fun…
BUT WHEN A GROWN MAN CANT HANDLE THE FACT THAT HE GOT SKYED BY A SMALL ASIAN GIRL, AKA YOURS TRULY GOOD OL CRUNCHY HERE, IMMA NEED TO INCLUDE IT IN THE CAP, yknow.
Now I assume this fella, Beard Man with the Glasses, average height, but got some muscle on him I would know cuz his BACK PEDDLING BODY WAS FLYIN INTO ME, now I assume he a nice dude. FTR did not see this man at the bar afterwards, but NONETHELESS a fun guy perhaps…
YA GIRL HERE CRUNCHWRAP SUPREME WANTS TO “CRUNCH” IN THE LAST FEW POINTS TO SOLIDIFY THE CHRONOS WIN AND GOES DEEP YEEEEEEEETTTT
GETS A HUCK FROM HER HOMIE @ERIQMUTHAFUCKINSIEGEL, BEATS TWO IN THE ENDZONE AND BATTLES IN THE AIR FOR THIS DISC AGAINST “BEARD MAN W THE GLASSES” AND BARELY SNAGS THIS DISC FOR THE FUCKIN SCOREEEEEEEE! OHHHHH….FUCKKKK…. ALL my CHROBROS RUSHIN THE FIELD in ABSOLUTE LITNESS for the SAVAGERY OF SKYIN THIS MAN
wavin his hands in the air like he just don’t care
I was broken, torn, ripped to shreds (that’s a dramatic, cinematic way of putting it but HOLY MOLY I WAS UPSET) For this SAVAGERY IN THE AIR does not happen often for a YUNG CRUNCH so when it did oh BOIIII I MADE IT CLEAN AND COUNT…now I’m not going into the nit and grit of this foul call because what is done is done and THE GAME WAS WONNNNNNN DAB ON EM
I will note that it is quite entertaining to see a grown man get all riled up about getting skyed by a girl hehe
(Photo provided by Dot of Eric and Crunch, specifically to put here. -Andy)
NOW To provide a healthy dose of APOLLO HIGHLIGHTS:
KWOK had BEAUTIFUL CROSS FIELD THROWS TO HIS POACHED TEAMMATES, homie got SKILLLZZZ
ALSO THE OPPOSING TEAM SHOWED SOME SKILLZ IN THE AIR, READIN DAT DISCY DISC and MAKIN THOSE SCORES
AMY WAS BREAKIN SOME ANKLES dammnnn girl AND YOSSIN DISCS damnnn girl
AND quite frankly, Chronos was SHATTIN OUR PANTS towards the end of the game cuz APOLLO CAME IN HOT WITH A BUNCH OF BREAKS
AND ONTO THE VERY END OF THE GAME:
OUR CHROYO MIKE…THIS MAN FUCKKKKIIINNNN BEAR HUGS HIS DEFENDER FOR THE FINAL CATCH OF THE GAME, REELIN THAT LAST POINTARINO IN FOR CHRONOS. Homie literally hugged this man for the score….SUCH SAVAGERY. SO SHOOOOOOOKKKKK.
SHOUTOUT TO THE FANS COMIN THRU TO THE GAME AND LIVESTREAMING ON FACEBOOK @ALEXCAREY @DON @FEI You can see all deez sick highlights, lowlights, and funlights in action from these wild commentators on FB thanks to deez homies! Also @JakeRifkin @Lish for coming to do their own workout??? and GETTING LIT AT DA BAR
In fact, THE BAR WAS PACKED WITH SUMMER LEAGUERS DESPITE OUR GAME BEING THE ONLY ONE! YEEEEET TO WEDNESDAY NIGHT KARAOKE SPIRIT AND ALL THE GUD FUN AT JOXERS
Great songs, great voices (jk lol we all suck buns except andy, THE BANDIT MAN CAME THRU WITH DAT SINGY SONG TALENT AND TWAS AMAZING)
L M A O TO ROBIN BUYING A FUCKIN TRAY OF TEQUILA ANNNNDDDD STEVE WICK BOPPIN TWO GLASSES TO THE FLOOR LIKE A DOOFUS
AND HOLY FUCK TO CHRONOS’ MIKE SINGIN BEAUTIFUL BY CHRISTINA AGUILERA, HOMIE IS MY KARAOKE NIGHT MVP
THAT’S A WRAP ON THIS WEEK’S CRUNCH CAP
peace out hoez ^o^
Mike’s rendition was amazing. And Robin’s bringing the tequila up on stage to sing “Tequila” a song with literally one word, was kinda genius. I’m actually not sure why that have that song in karaoke. But Robin knew exactly how to play it.
I heard a lot about the play Crunch is talking about at the end of the game. From both teams. I wasn’t at the game, so can’t really comment, but I wonder if it made the videos.
After a rough start to the season, Chronos guaranteed themselves a winning record with the victory last night, and continued Dot’s captaining streak of never finishing below .500.
Next up, we’ve got Apollo captain Liverpool, who was announced as Daniel by the karaoke guy, so I thought he meant Daniel Kwok. But Kwok was very quick to point out, “I would never be introduced as Daniel”.
This will be short cause I don’t feel nearly caffeinated enough after the bar last night. Apollo’s last league match before the tournament, we were feeling pretty good coming into it off of last week’s win. Right on the first point Chronos called the off-hand power, it wasn’t long before we threw it away. Chronos scored the first point 1-0. Then the game stayed pretty close most of the first game. 1-1. 4-4. And then Chronos took half at 8-5.
Almost every single point Apollo was discussing how best to use the sub-in power, and how to organize it. For most points we had folks standing near our endzone in the case that a blatantly open huck was made from the sideline, then the handler could quickly step off and someone run on into the endzone. We didn’t end up using it until the 10-8 point, when Zazu did just that; she did the blatantly open huck and quickly ran off the field. Unfortunately it did not connect, and doubly-unfortunately Charlotte ran on well before Zazu ran off, so it would not have counted anyway. Sad face. But, before I chalked it up as a “failed” power a la Andy’s power-success reasoning, we still had a chance to score the point. It actually turned a few times, but, in the end, Chronos scored. 11-8 Chronos, Apollo power officially failed.
Apollo was playing some seriously killer D throughout the night. Tait, Joel, Lisa, Natti all had really stand out D moments. It was the vert stack on O that gave us issues, so we once again ended up switching to mostly Ho. We eventually brought the game to 14-13 Chronos. We just need one point to keep the game going and give ourselves a solid chance at winning.
We didn’t even get the chance as they worked it up the line for the score. 15-13 Chronos. It was a fun game, and I have a feeling we will be seeing them in the tournament.
That “snake-in-the-grass” power is so intruiging because it’s one of only a couple powers that can happen in the middle of a point, and thus the constant threat of the power can be as useful as the power itself, which doesn’t seem to be doing too well so far. Also, how’d the offhand power go for Chronos?
And last but certainly not least, we have Kumbha who wasn’t even at the game, but came afterwards for craziness, and recapped the bar:
Alright everyone. This is my first BAR RECAP!
Last night was the last Wednesday games of Summer League, so we had to go all out. I wasn’t playing, but after the LAOUT Board meeting I knew I was going to Joxers. Luckily some of the fun and advantagously geographically located board members like Andy and Spike were in attendance. I wish that Spike had sung.
I took many a video last night, but I do admit I missed some performances because my phone died. [Sorry!] Normally I am prepared… Alex Carey is sending me some of his videos though (you will know which ones are Alexs…), and thank you to everyone who let me use your phone and then texted me the videos I took.
Last night was tons of fun. Apollo and Chronos were actually playing frisbee (not sure if there were 2 more teams and 2 lazy to do research) but this led to a lot of Chronos at the bar, as they should be, a good number of Apollo, and a lot of friends. I won’t try to name everyone who was there, but you get a taste via the videos.
7/26/2017 Karaoke Video Rankings by Yours Truly (and no, I won’t pull an Alex Carey and put my own video first) Andy I hope it isn’t too hard to match the videos with the people listed here… if it is let me know how I can help and speed that process up. I did label all the videos in the google drive.
Some of the factors I am taking into consideration… audience participation, song selection, good on stage chemistry, level of performers energy, did it sound good.
You have to watch the video to learn what song was sung, though it will probably be garnered by my analysis.
1. Your favorite boy band…. Lu Wang and Garrett Yung.
This song by far had the best audience participation. Every single person in the bar was thinking of something with feels and screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs. A very good song selection, because by god everyone better know all the words to this song and can therefore devote all energy to singing and lugging on friends instead of reading the screen. The chemistry between Lu and Garrett was something I hope everyone finds in a life partner, and their on stage energy was projecting everywhere. Fun fact: Millenium by the backstreet boys was my first CD, given to me by my lovely parents shoutout Mom and Dad, when I was just entering Kindergarten at the ripe old age of 4 years old. The gave me Millennium, and the Lion King Soundtrack.
2. Robin and Mitch the most generous in all the land (second video)
Nothing emphasizes a song name… than buying a tray of tequila shots and passing them out to the audience while sensually swaying your hips on stage. You should really just see the video. Very little traditional singing, but every other category was so successful, it didn’t even matter.
3. Cortez and Kumbha, Chemistry on and off the field (second video)
This song was released when I was a mere 5 years old, and it is a classic 2000s throwback to a better time. A time when you didnt have to get on your facebook just to see Aaron Carter as some doped up gross looking man in a mug shot for a DUI. He used to be so cute too. Child stardom. Anyway, the song originally started out as a couples duet, but unfortunately one brandon severson left the stage. After being shoved forward to get the second mic, I decided to sing backup to my good friend Cortez. She stole the show with this one, and I will graciously give the award 80% to her, 20% to me.
4. Bow Down to someone you want to get it on with, but only Erin gets to….Andy Bandit
Now Andy always somehow picks the most fitting songs for himself to sing. He truly knows himself. They always end with him on his knees and his head resting on Erin… always. Everytime I have seen Andy do Karaoke. Don’t get me wrong, he includes everyone in the audience… but he never fails to make his way back to Erin. Good thing they’re getting married. Andy has a knack for also just sounding good. The man can sing. Well, this genre at least. But again, know your limits. Shoutout to Jake Rifkin for helping me light this video, because its just so worth watching. No one can break the fourth wall like Andy can.
5. Another man flyin solo, who can honestly hit me anytime he wants – Don Macatasomething (second video)
You may know Don. If you don’t you should. A one man show, who comes with his own groupies – namely Alex Carey. Don has mastered the art of facial expressions really contributing to his karaoke. Engaging, pairs very well with his dance moves. An all around star, meant to be on stage.
6. Zazu and Ocho, an infamous Hellions duo, both very very herm
Now a little backstory, I signed the two of them up for this song. For two years. Every single Hellions tournament I at some point in the morning had to watch the two of them sing and dance to this song. Normally at 7 AM. If you don’t know me… I am not a morning person. Honestly not a people person, but I used to HATE this song. Yet here I was, last night, drunk, and I wanted to relive my college days, and its both Zazu and Ochos last week in LA, and I had to do it. On stage chemistry is for sure these two, singing and dancing, and this wasn’t the only duet they did last night, but it was the best one.
7. I honestly couldn’t hear this song, because the notes were too high for my ears… but even just visually – Alex Carey and Jake Rifkin
I aplaud these two for not only breaking through to a new octave, but for also sounding pretty damn good while doing it. I can’t verify, but I am trusting some of the other patrons with their feedback. Their faces said it all though… I give them the coveted seventh place spot for the effort alone.
8. Sherry and Sam take this spot for inspiring crowd dancing alone (second video) (third video)
While our number one song had the most people singing along, this song had the most people dancing along. Some might argue it should go higher, and I actually kind of agree now but I am too lazy to rearrange all of this. I do think was aptly timed when a lot of the bar got their second wind, because shortly after this song a lot of people left, having used up all their energy for the night.
9. Lish and Kumbha ft. Alex Carey, or as Alex says “Wildfire”
Unfortunately by the time Lish got up the courage to sing, cortez, Annie, and Tatty had all left, coulda had something going there and we all could have prepared for team karaoke saturday, but regardless, I was very impressed with Lish. She really dug her heels in, and only given a few song options that she would sing I was worried, but quickly we settled on the Backstreet Boys and from there it was easy. Another song with many feels while telling you via the backbeat to get back up on your feet and think about the present. That may have not made sense, but regardless. This one really got brought up in the rankings from filming alone and our background off stage singers.
10. I am putting us at ten because its my jersey number.. there was so much lug on stage… WTK – Kumbha, Tat, Walle (second video)
Writing more analysis are hard. I may give up soon, but the amount of lug projecting off this stage was just SO MUCH.
I am getting into Alex Carey category, I just put two of my videos in a row – but also this is taking forever. I will do a few more, then will either tap out or just post them all.
11. Steve Wick and Yung Crunch – a very out of tune but energetic act
Honestly I think the video says it all, you should just watch it. A nice upbeat song choice, the oooh ooh oooh honeys were in tune….
12. Castro!!!!!!! (second video)
A short clip thanks to Alex, but I want to say, Castro is often picking songs I don’t know, though this one I did, BUT he is always killing it. Theres always fast lyric parts, and he gets all the words. Not the biggest interacter with the crowd, a lot of focused intensity as he sings, but he has a lovely low voice. Would be invited to karaoke with me anytime. He also friended me last night on Facebook… and unlike cortez i didnt make him wait for 3 years and i accepted.
13. Andy Bandit strikes again
Honestly, just watch the video and hope that someone at someone point in your life loves you and serenades you the way andy does to erin.
Okay, I am going to end the rankings at lucky 13… but. Here are some honorable mentions, and you can form your own rankings. For various reasons I didn’t choose these – BUT they are all amazing in there own right and very, very, very good.
Kumbha and Eriq Siegel – A THOUSAND MILES
*Eriq if you’re reading this, it was amazing to meet you and glad we got to sing together, until anothe rkaraoke meeting.
Dot – IDK THE SONG NAME
*so note on this, Dot actually did this song really really well, it was just hard to hear given the headbanger that it was and dot is kind ofo a quiet singer
So this is the crew that won the bar… note the amount of Hellions. Honestly, like every bar winning group, has hellions in it. I am just saying. But we are all fun girls. After Joxers kicked us out we wandered over to delish.com store. This was ill be honest, not the most fun part of the night, though it was fun[ny]. You can see it for yourself here.
Alright, honestly i am not a writer and this whole endeavor has exhausted me. Again, andy if you need help… let me know. Feel free to comment who you think was best and worst!
I don’t disagree with the order. I’m just shocked you left out Mike Dow’s incredible rendition of “Beautiful”! Must’ve been an oversight, cause that song slayed. I would’ve actually put that #2 behind Robin’s “Tequila” performance.
I’ll have to put any additional comments in the comments section below. Want to get this posted.
|July 27, 2017||12:00 am||Summer League||2017|
|Culver City High School|