Marshall vs Sky LifeFeb 2nd, 2017 | By AndyBandit | Category:
Last night Sky Life played Marshall. There’s some interesting stuff that happened, so we’ll start with Sky Life’s perspective. This is Chris Walthers:
Dear evil diary,
Year 3, week 4. The goal is first to ruin Sky Life, and then the rest of LAOUT winter league. After losing Sky Life legends Jake and Lauren who are traveling the world and moving to the Bay Area, I thought I had this treachery in the bag! This is going to be tougher than I thought. Tonight we played Marshall, a strong top-tier team who regularly smokes lower level teams. This is perfect! Just what I need to foster some crushing, crippling cynicism among these knobs! All we have to do is go out there and get crushed and every man and lady will be at each other’s throats, ruining any kinship built over Code Names, Indian Food, and Hot Seat at Big Bear 2k17!
Things began so swimmingly. Both teams were short on ladies – 3 versus 3, with Q as a floater from the Free Agent pool. Marshall had a strong numbers advantage with men. Marshall took an early lead on some clever hucks. Cubby managed to land some crisp hammers. I don’t know why it is still a surprise – they are always sharper and quicker than expected. Despite good defense, Sky Life was stumbling. I couldn’t wait for arguments about broken marks and botched defensive assignments to literally tear this team apart at the seems like Lotso the Bear in Toy Story 3! Yet Sky Life stayed strong, battling back to tie at 5’s and again at 7’s before Marshall took the half on serve at 8-7.
At this point Q switched allegiances, trading her blue jersey for a white… because Sky Life (wearing red for the first half) had no acceptable alternate jerseys and therefore switched completely to white. White Nation! White Pride! WHITE SUPREMECY! This is 2017 after all!! And it was then that a most peculiar thing happened, possibly a first for winter league. Seemingly out of nowhere a medley of police sirens shrieked shrilly through the still night. Everyone in unison dropped to the turf, and a man in all black ran through the alleyway behind the bleachers towards the parking area. A few cops trailed close behind and one yelled “stop or I’ll shoot you mother f*cker!” which was disturbing. A few more cops trailed not so close behind, and then, comically late, plodded the one very large officer. In an instant several more cop cars streamed behind the other side of the fields by the parking lot. Soon the choppers were circling, occasionally shining their spotlights on our field, and the police continued to search the alleyway, presumably for a weapon or some other evidence, and the game quickly moved on as abruptly as it was interrupted. As an evil genius, I have to respect the intention but not the execution of this villain. Evil recognize evil!
There was more of the same in the second half. Marshall threw an occasional zone and some loose, poachy D, but Sky Life fought back valiantly, using long, sweeping break throws to create easy in cuts on the break side and force Marshall to move laterally. This was the only effective way to get open on Sky Life’s strong and fast defenders. The short-staffed Marshall ladies had the unenviable task of guarding 4 very fast, very active Sky Life ladies, who were able to keep Sky Life in the game. Add in some excellent smothering defense from Sky Life on the whole, forcing Marshall in to long offensive points and occasional nervous dropsies and tough throws. Ultimately Marshall made some really big plays in the air, winning a few more tough points that could have gone either way. That made the difference and they won 15-12. The game was about as good as you could get – hard fought, well executed, and fun. Spirits were high on both sides, there was nary a foul – and if there was it was settled quickly and without argument, and a few times Marshall even called themselves out of bounds on the sideline between the Rooks v Tarmac game. I wish they all could be like this…
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BREAK THE SPIRIT OF THIS SKY LIFE TEAM!! Oh dearest diary, you should have seen them after the game! “Let’s go to Joxer Daly”, they shrilled moistly with red cheeks and steam rising off their scalps, “let’s get a beer and enjoy this feeling!”. Oh, how they stuffed their fat faces with French fries and potent potables, fingers sticky with ketchup and breath greasy and hot. How I loathe them… and yet wish to be such a beautiful fool. The paradox – losing, but in such high spirits, with such pride and team chemistry! I will surely have to try harder to ruin such a group of boners in the coming weeks…
Bear with me, I can’t draw. Below is my artistic interpretation of what happened last night. Two police cars sped up to another car right near the fence behind our game at Jackie Robinson Stadium. That’s us on the line. Two cop cars behind us. The perp’s car was actually wedged between the two cop cars. I didn’t draw it in, but it was there. And the arrow shows the direction the guy ran. He jumped out of his car and booked it behind the stands.
That was pretty crazy. It was EXACTLY like this. I know it looks like we’re all cheering for the guy, but that’s just how I draw stick figures, so believe me, we weren’t cheering. My next photorealistic drawing shows the guy booking it right behind the fence behind the stands, so you couldn’t really make him out completely. There was a break in the fence near where I was standing. I was actually the closest person to the fence and had the best chance to do something about it. You could see the police officers chasing behind him. I only drew one police officer here (he wasn’t wearing a hat, but I thought you needed some visual clue.) And the police officers were all really slow, because apparently being in shape is not a requirement for the LAPD.
This next unbelievably accurate photo is me after I ran through the break in the fence and tackled the guy to the ground, and then the cop came right up to us with his gun drawn, and he was like “thank you, brave civilian, I’ll take it from here.” And then the other cop said “here’s your cash reward for helping us apprehend this dangerous felon.” And then the paparazzi showed up and I was on the LA Times this morning with the caption “HERO!!!”
Okay, that’s just what I was imagining while I watched the guy run and did absolutely nothing.
The rest of it did actually happen though. It wasn’t the first time there’s been a cop chase during a game. Once many years ago at Balboa a guy literally shot at another guy, and then got into his car and sped off. We all hit the ground immediately, cause you know, gun shot. And then like 10 minutes later a cop car showed up and drove right across the field where we were playing. It was pretty surreal.
We also played a game last night. But Chris told you everything you need to know. It was close the whole way. I wanted to mention ex-Sky Life player Dave Knight who defected to our side last season and made his first game of the year, skied four people, scored a bunch of points, and then took off, and maybe we’ll see him again sometime this year.
Also, I love that when Q switched sides to play with Sky Life (for fairness), they all changed shirts from their red team jerseys that they’re really proud of and probably spent a lot of money on, to bland white shirts, because they wanted her THAT MUCH. That must’ve felt good. I don’t know, has any team ever changed their jerseys just so you could play with them?
|February 2, 2017||8:00 pm||Winter League||2017|