Rooks’ Loss is PuzzlingFeb 10th, 2016 | By AndyBandit | Category: Game Recaps, Winter League
We have started the second half of the season. And the Rooks were looking to break their record of one win in a season. They’d be working against Sky Life, a team they’ve never faced before. We’ll start the recaps with Mary Carlson of the Rooks, with this very inventive crossword puzzle:
Okay, that’s just awesome. How do you not love the effort put into that? You might have to go to the roster page to help you solve this. In fact, unless you’re a Rooks player, I’ll pretty certain you’ll have to. But worth it.
And now, for a more traditional recap, here’s Doug Duquette of Sky Life:
Sky Life meets Rooks on a beautifully warm Tuesday night tango with both teams lacking on the numbers front. We are still buzzin’ from a great weekend at Big Bear and hit some really nice flow on our offense, finally working the kinks out of our ho stack to take an early lead. Unfortunately, we then fall prey to the dropsies and a few overly ambitious hucks, and Claws (Clause? Claus? The Guy In The Gold Shorts?) on Rooks dominates the deep game with some great air traffic control. We trade through most of the rest first half to take it 8-5.
At half time, we talk about cleaning up our execution and come out looking like we mean it with a 4-1 run. Again, the Rooks make some really athletic plays and answer back with a 3-1 run of their own. At 12-9 we trade O points, and finally get two breaks to end the game 15-10 with Sky Life notching our second win of the season.
Afterward, the Rooks treat us to some delicious Mardi Gras cake and Qiao and Banshee both have babies. All in all another team effort from Sky Life with everyone pitching in, playing hard and being supportive and helpful on the sideline. We had a really fun, great spirited game from both teams. Special shout out to Katelyn who played through a vicious hot tub-related injury (also the first to my knowledge to acquire at Big Bear) and Jim who also played with a sore bum (whose source is disputed but probably related to certain truth or dare Jenga activities).
I have no idea who Claws is. But I hope it’s actually Clause. Like he’s just a part of a sentence.
The win for Sky Life evens their record at 2-2. Next up is Tarmac (2-2) next Wednesday. For the Rooks, they fall to 1-4. They will get the rematch with Kapow (0-4) next Wednesday.
On the other field, we had Retro and Kapow! going at it. Here’s Steve Loh of Retro with the story:
It was one of the most nerve-wracking games I’ve ever seen. The night started off OK, with a standard “how many ball-bearings can you shove up one nostril contest” for pull. Kapow won. 23. Mike Bell shoved valiantly, but an untimely sneeze took him out. And also Haynes, Cotter, and Meg’s dog. Never stand in line of fire during that game. Rookies.
Both teams were orange, so Lish volunteered Retro to go white. Something about the glare and color refraction advantage, or something… I stopped listening.
Retro took the first few points after some unforced errors. But as Mike Bell always says, there are no unforced errors. Only errors done without invitation or consent…Yeah. Then Kapow scored a few, and we traded points. They were hucking it, and we had trouble keeping up with their fast guy, Gerardo. Someone said his name was Rob, but I’m pretty sure it was Gerardo. Gerardo faked out Charlie a few times and pulled down the end zone shots. That led to the most surprising event of the night.
We all know Charlie has a bit of a… (temper). But last night, he must’ve had an extra dose of aggro pills or lost the burpee contest at his cross-fit gym, because he was raging. And after getting skyed by Gerardo one too many times, Charlie — it happened before any of us even knew it, honest — yanked his shirt off and pulled a full hulk flex — I mean FULL– shouting “Nobody gonna f*** my sh** up, chihuahua bi**!”
Yeah. I’ve never been so scared. Took the full strength of Peebler, Lance, Kenneth, and Emie to hold him back as Lish calmed him with some Whitman poems from her emergency bag (Leaves of Grass, I believe).
We continued trading points. 5-5. 6-6. Before we knew it, it was 9-9. Blew right through halftime. Kapow’s captain cited a little-known clause of 11th Edition that said we had to play negative points until such time the score was back within official first half tally. To my surprise, no one argued. I guess not really. I mean, who’s actually read the rule book other than the expertise-demonstrating passage on picks and thrower acknowledgment? That’s the one that makes you look smart. Oh, and also the line isn’t in.
So, we ran backwards and “undid” the points. But again, no one was paying attention, and we ended up at 1-1 again. So play resumed forward until half. At which point we decided to skip it anyway. Just some pointless huddling with folks feeling the need to lecture about good throws, good catches, and valuing the disc…
So we played on. People did stuff. Kapow scored a few times over our new offense. Mainly because Lish explained it– something to do with handlers and two people… I stopped listening.
Charlie and Gerardo kept getting in each other’s faces. Lish had the Whitman book ready. Haynes even tried some improvisational techniques to distract Charlie. But all the while, the rage festered. And grew. And as I once read in a bathroom wall at Pea Soup Anderson’s (the one off the 5, not the 101): “Alas, one cannot live as another, outside oneself, alone… alone. Or the winds shall rage unknown.”
And Charlie raged, all right. He reciprocated a sky over Gerardo for a score. Then starting humping the disc in manners unfit for these pages. Suffice to say, he took the aerodynamics right off that Frisbee. Removed the Bernoulli from the principle. A spirit foul was called, which Charlie contested. Didn’t know you could do that. Beauty of our system. That led to arguing, which, as we all know, can only be solved with more reenactments. Another disc de-aerodynamicized. That’s when Gerardo just beat the crap out of Charlie.
Lish jumped in to defend his honor, and in seconds, both benches were cleared into an ultimate melee. Melanie got some wicked kicks in — no idea she was that flexible… Emily rabbit punched through… Monkey went all ape-sh**… and Mike Bell, learning from his opening mistake, loaded up some BB’s and sneezed away.
The horror. The horror.
Then we slapped hands, made up a well-spirited but badly delivered cheer that was not quite understood, and said goodnight.
Oh, and Meg brought some kickass buffalo chicken dip.*
Good game, Kapow.
*This part is true.
I’m sure not if that was a dream he had, or a movie he watched. Or a dream about a movie about dreams. But I was entertained, and that’s enough for me. And I now know that de-aerodynamicized is a word.
With the win, Retro evens their record at 2-2. They play Marshall (2-1) next Thursday. And Kapow! falls to 0-5. They will rematch the Rooks (1-4) next Wednesday.
Animal Style (3-0) will face the Night’s Watch (3-1). These two have no history.
Hungry Hydra (3-0) goes up against Tarmac (2-2). And same here. The two teams have never met.