RecapSummer 2019House Tyrell vs. House Baratheon

House Tyrell
House Baratheon


First time we’ve actually had a fake recap submitted, and I was happy to be involved in it, especially since it was all a ruse to screw with Cubby, and that’s always fun.  If you haven’t read, go HERE to see the fake recap.  So here’s the real recap of Baratheon’s win (not loss as previously reported) by Paparatheon:

Okay, okay. Hopefully by now some of y’all have caught on and realized that most of yesterday’s recap was a joke. In truth, Christi’s recap is a pretty accurate description of how the game went. We did start the game around 8:20 but with both teams fully ready to play, no track-runner sub, and certainly no slander of the Beatles. Baratheon actually had our best attendance from both women and men all season. However, it is also true that Cub and Cam did not show up to the game.

So, during our (perfectly coordinated) spirit circle at the end, Seth requested that we pretend we lost the game and write a fake recap, to make Greg and Cam (but mostly Greg) feel bad for not showing up. We thought it was a great idea, and Cory and Christi planned it out with Andy at the bar. Hahaha @Greg. I’d say we hate you but this is really too elaborate of a prank to play on someone we don’t like. Missed ya, buddy. Hope your fever has passed and you’re recovering.

As I’ve said, Christi’s recap was mostly accurate, so I’ll adopt Cory’s bullet-point format to throw in some highlights and clarifications:

– This was a long, close game, in true Baratheon fashion. However, we did not go into OT for once!
– Most of our men showed up and played spectacularly.
– Jordan’s bookend play was real and AWESOME
– Merlin actually did beat Cory on a huck and wipe the disc on him
– Sick run-through and layout D’s from BOTH teams (and hand-blocks from the Tyrells too!)
– The long point was truly the longest ever
– We had a few contested fouls and discussions, but overall it was a spirited game from both teams
– Devin actually did have a sick layout grab to win the game!
– On that note, Baratheons barely managed to pull ahead from 13-13 and win 15-13. Just tryna earn that summer league fee with maximum play time, ya feel?
– Bar attendance was high from both teams, who sat, ate and drank together merrily
– Later at said bar, Andy insisted that chihuahuas can give birth to human babies (weird…maybe he’d had too many mudslides?)

That just about sums it up. Also, Seth and Christi are definitely not on my shit list. They’re wonderful. Thanks for participating in this elaborate scheme, everyone. This was fun. Please see the attached adorable picture of our teammates and banner (thanks Randy!!). See you all next week.

I got the opportunity to break the news to Cubby last night about the fake recap.  He laughed out loud when I told him.  He loved it and he said he was actually really excited to be part of it all, and thought his team did a great job of keeping the ruse up for a full 24 hours.

Below is unchanged from the original recap.

And now, let’s hear from the other side.  Here’s Christi Tyrell:

In Game of Thrones, Lady Margaery Tyrell married not one, not two, but THREE different Baratheons. That girl was going to get on (or at least next to) the Iron Throne one way or the other. Granted, her first Baratheon husband, Renly, was killed by a ghost – weak. The second one, Joffrey, was killed by Lady Margaery’s own grandmother – hell yes. And then the third one, Tommen, killed himself after his mother killed Margaery (and a couple hundred other people) soo…. zero sum game? Do we even need to play out this ultimate matchup? All signs point to it being a tie anyway. I bet I could have talked Greg Baratheon into a truce, but since he wasn’t there, we’ll never know.

Instead, Tyrell started on defense, and everything was so evenly matched that we traded points all the way to at least 5s or 6s. Yes. We were tied. Often.

But then Tyrell pulled ahead to take half 8-6! Suck it, Joffrey.

Despite Greg being MIA (or perhaps because of it), the Baratheons came out of half with a vengeance. They took the first two points, and when I later checked Papa’s meticulously kept notes on her whiteboard, I realized they had scored 5 points to our measly 1 point since half. Apparently all of our marriages meant nothing and those damn Baratheons were coming for our throats.

All throughout this, there was a lot of action going on. Tipped discs for a D that got bobbled and almost recovered but ultimately fell to the ground. Amazing grabs that on any other night would have been turns. One Tyrell was taken down by a turf monster. One Tyrell was taken down by another Tyrell. And then a third Tyrell was taken out by a Baratheon.

I subbed in on that last point after the injury, which had already had at least one or two turns. And then there were at least one or two more turns before Tyrell called a time out. And THEN there were at least one or two MORE turns before Baratheons called a time out. They subbed out two players, so Tyrell got more fresh legs, and I subbed out again. Yes, that’s right. I played on a point that I neither started nor finished because it lasted THAT LONG. And I’m old and get tired a lot. And those Baratheon girls run ALL THE TIME.

I have no idea who scored on that point either, but Tyrell did bring it back to tie it up (again) at 12s and then again at 13s. I’m sure if Greg had been there, the Baratheons would have finished it right there, but alas. No Greg. So instead Tyrell threw an endzone-to-endzone cross-gender goal to score two points for the win!

What’s that? We don’t do that in Summer League? Tyrell didn’t score anything past 13 points? I’d say you can ask Greg what the final score was, but he wasn’t there so he doesn’t know.

Let’s just call it a tie. Please.

P.S. We had the most successful spirit circle ever where we alternated Baratheon/Tyrell evenly all the way around the field. Fortunately, we had our team photographer on hand (Colin) and he got this lovely 360 of us.

You can click on that smaller image to see the full enlarged one.

I’m trying to figure what that thing is behind the baby in the glaring gif.  Is that a dog’s tail wagging?  Cause otherwise, I don’t know what the hell that thing is, and it’s really distracting me.

I love that Christi used the time-out sub rule to it’s full capacity.  I usually have to remind people that in Summer League, you can sub up to two players through a time-out.  (I fully believe that should be a rule in all of Ultimate.)  And so Christi subbing herself in and then out again on two separate time-outs on the same point may be a record, cause I’ve certainly never heard of it before, and will go onto the Summer League Records Page.

Also, total aside, for that last paragraph I wrote “I love Christi used the time-out sub rule……” but then I went back and changed the wording slightly because I remembered this time that someone from my work said I told her I loved her.  And actually what I wrote was, “I love you found that photo of Ted Williams”.  For some reason she stopped after the third word of that sentence, and I realized that if I had just added the word “that” after “love” it could have saved a lot of awkwardness.  So it’s not that I don’t love Christi, but you understand.

One comment

  • seth gillum

    July 24, 2019 at 11:25 pm

    Best recaps EVER


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House Tyrell vs. House Baratheon FAKE

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