RecapSummer 2019House Lannister vs. House Mormont

MON, JUNE 17
7
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House Lannister
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House Mormont
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GAME RECAP

Lannister vs. Mormont.  Lion vs. Bear.  You just need a Tiger and then it’s all the things to fear in the Wizard of Oz.

It’s also a divisional rivalry in the NFL.  But not a very good one.  Did you know the last time the Detroit Lions and Chicago Bears had winning records in the same year?  It was 1995.  24 years ago.  Do you know the last time the Lions and Bears faced each other in a playoff game?  That would be never.  Which is impressive since both teams go back to the 1930’s.

According to www.compareanimal.com: Grizzly bear will always win in head to head fight with African lion because grizzlies are stronger, taller, and heavier. They also have the bigger paws with stronger deadly swipes than lion, though they are smaller than polar bear but still they are the stronger and dangerous than all other bears in the world.

I was hoping www.compareanimal.com was a website where you could punch in any two animals, and it will tell you who would win, but sadly no.  I punched in goose vs. moose and got nothing.  I mean, obviously moose would win, but I just wanted the explanation.

And now, let’s hear from Nate Lannister with the recap from this Lion vs. this Bear:

One of my favorite parts about the Game of Thrones lore are all the poems and songs. I could hum and sing “Jenny of Old Stones” the day after the episode aired where Podrick sang it on the eve of battle. And since as of yet no other Lion wants to recap I wager I’ll pen some lines!

Twilight they met a Lion and Bear
On fields kissed with light,
Two great beasts both covered in hair
And neither one was right

The Lannister Lion is a deceitful beast
Or so believed the Bear
But the Lion’s Legacy is good cause to fight
Even if no hearts are spared

On it went into the night
The Lion slayed the Bear
Despite the Bear’s quite justified might
And all the good they share

Here is Podrick Payne (Lannister Bannerman) of great singing and sexual fame.

Bravo.  And screw you www.compareanimal.com!  You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.

And now, a bar recap from Sonja Mormont:

A bar recap. I have no idea what the score was. Lannister won, but we all know how its REALLY gonna end for them…

———————–

We were small but mighty at the bar. With only 3 of us in attendance we were outnumbered by all other teams. The conversation was lively with Christi, at the quietest moment of the evening, very loudly revealing that she is not in fact a f*#@ing-see-you -next-Tuesday but a f*#@ing-slut.

While house Tyrell had the most people at the bar we get points for having the most people at the end of the night.

The problem with this Bitmoji is that she’s drinking wine and I would never drink wine. It should be a shot or a Long Island or some other real drink.

The end.

See, that’s an important piece of information Christi left out of her story.  She just said she uttered the words “f*#@ing slut”, she didn’t mention she said “I am a f*#@ing slut”.  It does change the story quite significantly.

I’m glad you also feel wine is not a real drink.  Cheers to that sister!  *clink*

2 comments

  • Christi

    June 18, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    Andy, did you not read my recap preface?? This is the rumor part that is being heavily spread by Marshall players since winter league. I’m starting to think you’re in on it too!

    I have literally never said the phrase “I am a f*#@ing slut.” The key part being that I’ve never said that about myself.

    Reply

  • Andy Bandit

    June 18, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    I’m generally confused by things. Don’t ever underestimate my ability to misread a sentence.

    Me? In on a rumor? How dare you.

    Reply

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