[Posted by Christi, not Andy]
House Tyrell vs House Targaryen. Both teams with 2-2 records, but the Targaryens were coming off of a win and Tyrell just lost our last game to the lights. I got to the fields early and got this lovely shot of our house banner on the open field.
And then things took a turn for the worst.
Thies forgot his speaker, so we had no music. And then he thought the theme of the season was House of Cards. Merlin and Joanna stopped for boba (a previous good luck charm), but then got lost getting to the fields. Seth thought our team name was Martell. I can never get our team cheer right. Suffice it to say, we were a bit of a mess.
I’ll let Lady Joanna Targaryen provide the details:
Tyrell is one of my favorite houses in Game of Thrones. I mean, Lady Olena is one of the baddest babes in the show. Suck it Cersei. Also, I LOVE Margaery. She learned from the best, her G-ma. Girl is so slick. I was so PISSED when those dips***s blockaded her in the temple ultimately condemning her to death. Girl was going to be a LEGEND. ALSO she’s the prettiest person on the whole show. I will fight you on that if you disagree.
Honestly I wanted Martell first and Tyrell second for our team, but when you get first choice overall, if you don’t pick Targaryen, you’re a dope. I mean, did you see my dragon costume? Would not have been as cool if I dressed up like a rose. Also, dragons give me a reason to buy fireball and have the guy behind the counter tell me “I’ll sell this to you if you’re 21” about five times as i’m getting out my ID.
Anyway, despite having the smartest women in the whole goshdamn world, the Tyrells are not smart enough to know that they should just side with the Targaryens and make Beyonce’s song Run the World a reality. Therefore, no mercy is shown to anyone who sides with the weakest house who just can’t accept their own ineptness. Might rhyme with Shmanister. Even when that allegiance is a freaking POWER MOVE (just not the right one)! I mean, when you hear of a woman who hatches 3 dragons eggs that have been petrified for YEARS, you pick her every time, but I appreciate their strategy. They did some awesome things with that plan despite their misstep.
Anyway, now that you know my feelings on the show mixed with allusions to the game…. Finally, we were back at a familiar field that we don’t hate. We’re very emotional us Targaryens. We only want the best. And we want it BIGGER. We don’t need 20 yard end zones when we can have smaller ones and a longer field! YEAH! Yeah, whoever set those up, you’re sentenced to a trial by combat.
Targaryens come out strong. We’re coming off a win, but also two very painful losses. Starks made some starky (get it? like snarky, but stark?) comments about our own drops last week, and we let that stir the fire in our bellies to take it out on the Tyrells. I mean the Tyrells didn’t side with the Starks either, so despite being bad asses, their choices are really starting to stack up in the “shoulda thought it through more” category. Still, Lady Olena never did anything wrong, maybe she truly knew her role was just to get Joffrey and Cersei out of the way. Yeah, let’s go with that.
Targs are dropping fiery bombs left and right and deflecting everything the Tyrells try. David is a FREAKING BEAST! We thought our Targaryen intensity scared him off after game one, but he came back with the fire of three games saved up to just deny the other team EVERYTHING! Like where did this man come from? Then Tara is all up on her girl as well. Then she sprints down the field with no one around. The two people I didn’t really know before picking them are KILLING IT! Snatch’s comment after the game en route to the bar was that when Tara and Ruth are catching the disc they are terrifying. He meant that in a good way. Like the other team should be terrified, just to make that clear.
Targs take half 8-3. Elmo is going nuts. We’re pretty sure she ate Banshee and absorbed her essence to give her the extra energy. Snatch is made fun of for telling David he was basically inside his man when on defense. My team gets a little worried about my mental health when the only cheer I can come up with is “Burn them”. We went with Dracarys instead. Look, I’m just really into this theme, ok?
Coming out of half, we don’t let the fire die. Honestly the best d of the season so far. Connections finally being made. Julius and Snatch’s bromance going strong, but I break in there to take Julius’ attention off Snatch for at least one long throw. Seth underestimating our team’s abilities when Snatch isn’t in the middle of the play. He paid for that miscalculation, JUST LIKE A TYRELL WOULD DO! I knew I’d bring it back around eventually.
Final score was of course an over dramatic dive and roll by Snatch that needed some discussion before it was just over. 15-6 sealed with a dragon kiss.
As for the bar, honestly, LAOUT won the night. They were overwhelmed by sweaty, loud, hungry, and thirsty players. It was amazing. Also, Castro didn’t take a shot. Boo.
Um yeah, what’s this about our field size?? There was a men’s game on the field next to ours, and I did notice half way through our game that their cones weren’t aligned with ours, but I figured they just started at a different line or something. And then at the bar, Derek pointed out that our end zones were only 15 yards instead of the normal 20. During the game, everyone was talking about how much bigger the fields felt compared to VNSO, but I guess we should have double check the measurements.
Would it surprise anyone that the fields were set up by someone on Tyrell? Did I mention we were a little all over the place?
In the end though, our team had a ton of fun. Everyone was still smiling and we had the best showing at the bar, as usual, with 10 Tyrells showing up. Let’s just close the books on this one and move on to next week. Please.