RecapSummer 2018Scratchy vs Lady



Ask and you shall receive.  I was hoping for a recap from the Lady/Scratchy game on Tuesday, and we get a new CrunchCap.  First one of 2018!

Oh boi oh boi oh boi the CRUNCH CAP RETURNZZZZZZZZ

While the Chromies will always stay in my heart, TIS ONTO A NEW ADVENTURE, a SILVER one.

AND SO, on the eve of the 12th of the month of June, a Tuesday to be exact, began an epic battle between SCRATCHY and LADY. NOT ONLY is this a DOG V CAT, CROSSOVER, ULTIMATE FACE OFF, but time was short! as we started late (eventually leading to the lights turning off mid-game, but a mistake we shan’t make again!)

While I didn’t get to see the ABSOLUTE FIERY LITNESS of our SILVER SQUAD in their debut last Thursday, I WAS NOT LET DOWN THIS BEAUTIFUL NIGHT!


Starting off with my fellow teammates:

THIS NIGHT WAS TOTALLY WICKED!!! MY HOME BOIII, TK, WAS FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE trynna catch some dicey throws from CHICAGO (ahem, fight on!), who MIGHT I SAY also flew! These two were SPEEDY FORCES on the field DEEP, UNDER, IN THE AIR! CHICAGO caught some GNARLYYYY HUCKS from the likes of TIM, and KORB! The night was AFLAME! NOT TO MENTION, CHICAGO had his yung, fellow Trojans SOPHIA and MYSELF handling back like a TRIO OF SAVAGERY!

Now, now, now please lets all take a moment of……ABSOLUTELY SHITTING YOUR PANTS in honor of our MVP RYAN, who while shorter than myself LITERALLY, LIT. TER. AL. Y. was SKYIN’, BIDDIN’ and GODDAMN BLEEDIN’ out there makin BIG BOIIII PLAYZZZ for Silver. He was essential to the DEFENSE, the OFFENSE, just all forms of FENCES required this SAVAGE!

To put a cherry on top of this SAVAGE SUNDAE, the SCRATCHY WOMEN were ALL OVER THE FIELD AS WELL! We were out there seeing BIDS from SOPHIA AND EMMA. OH Muh GAWD and EMMA had an EPIC D, launching into the air to tap a HUCK to the GROUND. SOPHIA was RUNNIN down that DISCY-DISC right to the end, getting D’s IN THE ENDZONE!

Ooooo, and LAUREN’s SAUCY throw to Korb for a long-awaited goal, she made it look as easy as spreading butter on toast!

SHOUTOUT to Grant and Remy for leading us hooligans, and QUITE LITERALLY saying some of THE MOST inspirational, useful WORDS of THE YEAR #BeAThreat

The game was TENSE. 7-7, only for Silver to squeeze by with the point to take half. And then IT WAS BACK TO THE RACES after some quality group huddling.

Now onto our opposing team: LADYYYYYYY

First and FOREMOST, my ankles were GODDAMN BROKEN after every point D’ing up on these LADY women. ABSOLUTE SAVAGES, RIPPING me apart left and right, under and deep!

SO, ‘Misfit’ shirt wearing dude WAS A SAVAGE, he was SAUCY, callin strats, talkin sideline, and HOLY SHITBALLS COULD THIS BOIIII RUN! ABSOLUTE SAVAGE. ALONGSIDE his LITTY TEAMMATES, home boi in a bandana I think and the other dude in the red baseball cap, THEY SUM TALLL, SPEEDY BOIIIIIS!

Our teams totally BALANCED and stayed NECK AND NECK! Would’ve loved to have EVEN MORE TIME on the field to play out that game!

Ended, 12-10 Scratchy

Callin strats?  Does that mean talking strategy?  That’s my best guess.  According to Google, Strats means Structured Repackaged Asset-Backed Trust Security, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t mean that.  I don’t know, maybe.

Wow, Chicago was there.  He said he was only gonna make two games.  One down, one to go.

Lots of use of the word savage, and neither referenced either being short staffed OR the company that makes our jerseys.  Impressive.


  • alex

    June 14, 2018 at 10:21 am

    i thought “savage” was one of those words we weren’t supposed to use because its offensive? Am i out of the loop?


  • Christi

    June 14, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    The ‘Misfit’ shirt dude was Corey. I’m pretty sure Stig was wearing the bandana. And I think Marcus had the red hat?

    And Alex, yeah I wondered about that too. Is it that as a verb or adjective it’s okay, but as a noun, it’s a no-go? Maybe these young whipper snappers are reinventing it? Excuse my while I go back to my rocking chair to finish my crossword puzzle and yell at kids to get off my lawn.


    • Steph

      June 14, 2018 at 5:23 pm

      I have no idea what any of it means… I think I understood about 50%, which is by far my highest crunchcap comprehension rate thus far. But they totally get my vote for best recaps.


  • Steph

    June 14, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    Chi was there in the game against Underdog so he’s now made 2 games.


  • Andy Bandit

    June 14, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    If Chicago makes one more game, he’s officially a liar.


  • alex

    June 18, 2018 at 10:38 am

    True story, i opened our front door around midnight and yelled at a kid peeing on our stoop.

    I am the one who knocks.


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