Here’s a late recap from Monday’s TBD v.3 vs Scoober Divers game. I have a few more to post tonight from Tuesday night games, but work has been busy so I can only get one out for now.
Here’s Scoober’s Maria Duke with some clarifications from last weeks post (which you can reference here along with the ensuing facebook comments here). Half of the clarification is probably really just for me because I defensively miss-interpreted her “Ohio” comments last time and didn’t watch The Breakfast Club link that would have been the key to everything. Although learning that Maria has done some deep dive research on The Breakfast Club does make me feel slightly better for missing the references… Anywhoo, please enjoy:
Hey y’all! Mr. Brock, Scoober Divers captain and national heartthrob, has once again missed a Scoober Divers game because he’s “visiting” his “girlfriend” in “Ohio”. Allow me to use this opportunity for a brief segway and clarification. Last week, I made an offhand reference comparing Ohio to Niagara Falls, implying that Mr. Brock’s girlfriend is imaginary for comedic effect and to continue the through-line we have going that Mr. Brock is unlucky in love.
Joke from last week: “Mr. Brock, absentee captain and Pokemon Trainer, was in “Ohio” this week “visiting” his “girlfriend” who he “loves.” Needless to say this is a piss poor excuse for missing a game and also I guess Ohio is what the kids these days are calling Niagara Falls.”
It has since come to my attention that not many people understood the reference I was making. Let it be known that I don’t hate Ohio nor Niagara Falls and can’t think of a single negative thing to say about either locale. In fact, I’m planning a trip to Columbus, OH this spring. Rather, I was referencing the seminal coming of age film Breakfast Club (1985) which clearly isn’t as widely watched as I thought. I did include a hyperlink to the relevant scene from the film in my recap but, again, it has come to my attention that the hyperlink wasn’t formatted any differently than the rest of the text, so people weren’t aware they had to click on it in order to understand the reference. I also now realize that not everyone has written multiple papers on Breakfast Club, including a comparison between Breakfast Club and the documentary American Teen (2004). Both deconstruct classic teen film archetypes in order to reveal the humans behind those labels. Another of my papers was a feminist examination of the toxic masculinity within the film and the double sexual standards which lock each gender into their respective prisons. Which brings me to the main event that you all have been waiting for: a recap of the ’80s coming of age film, Breakfast Club. From the wikipedia: “On Saturday, March 24, 1984, five students at the fictional Shermer High School report at 7:00 am for all-day detention. Each comes from a different clique: stuck-up Claire Standish, geek Brian Johnson, wrestler Andrew Clark, rebellious John Bender, and outcast Allison Reynolds. They gather in the school library, where assistant principal Richard Vernon instructs them not to talk, move from the seats, or sleep until they are released at 4:00 p.m. He assigns them a thousand-word essay, in which each must describe “who you think you are”. He leaves, returning only occasionally to check on them.” Shenanigans, heartfelt conversations, and emotional outbursts ensue. In one scene, rebel Bender asks nerd Brian if he’s had sex before. Also present is Claire, the popular girl. CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO THE FIRST HALF OF THE SCENE and CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO THE SECOND HALF
Bender (to Claire): Watch what you say. Brian here’s a cherry.
Brian: A cherry?
Claire (wistfully): I wish I was on a plane to France.
Brian: A cherry?
Bender: When have you gotten laid?
Brian: I’ve laid lots of times.
Bender: Name one time.
Brian: She lives in Canada. I met her at Niagara Falls, you wouldn’t know her.
Bender: Ever laid anyone around here?
Brian gestures to Claire, implying (improbably) that the two of them have had sex.
Claire: What are you talking about?
Bender: Well Brian’s trying to tell me that – in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area – you and he are presently riding the hobby horse.
In conclusion, my joke was hilarious and timely. I meant no offense to Christi nor any other Ohioan and a special thanks to Anna Duke for defending me in the comments.
And now for the game! I showed up an hour late because I had to go to Urgicare to deal with a health issue that I won’t go into, but let’s just say cranberry juice wasn’t helping. Also, we were playing at Sepulveda Basin, which – you’ll recall – is more than a mile from my house, and thus impossible to me to get to on time. When I did roll in at a leisurely 8:45pm, the game was already close to over. I also walked to the wrong field at first, because I didn’t recognize my team. You see, in addition to Mr. Brock, most of the male Scoober Divers declined to come to the game, and thus we had a ton of male subs, who fought valiantly, if unsuccessfully, to score points for the Divers. Author’s note: One of the male subs, Lance, after overhearing that I was going to be writing a recap for the game, proceeded to show me the app he uses to track every play made during his team’s games which he then apparently he uses as a reference point for his recaps. Lance, if you’re reading this, I tried to warn you that you were wasting your breath. Hopefully this recap serves as a sort of “Show Not Tell” moment for you and really drives the message home. In contrast, the female Scoober Divers had their best attendance rate of the season (we were all there!) and there was a general sense that we all would have liked to play more. I realize that, in my case, showing up at the beginning of the game would have translated to more points played. That math is simple yet elegant. Also, I’m told that at the beginning of the game, TBD and Scoober Divers traded points, and at one point, Scoober Divers were up 3-1. Unfortunately, for the rest of the game, the Scoober Divers were – how to put this delicately – ….not up 3-1.
tbh TBD op’d SD 15-5 ftw.
Yes, the default link formatting is annoyingly subtle in that if you hyperlink text, it doesn’t show up as a link unless you rollover it. Even worse when you’re on mobile. Maybe I’ll figure out a way to fix that default later… for now, I’ll just try to remember to bold things.
Now, who wants to take bets on Maria’s middle name? I’m going all in on Christi. Anyone else?
TBD v.3 is now 2-3-1, currently in 5th place for A division, and will have their last game against Bubble Party (0-6) on Monday.
Scoober Divers falls to 1-5, currently in 7th place, and their final game is against Skeeter (2-3-1) on Tuesday.
UPDATE – here’s the recap from the TBD side of things. A little less film analysis, a little more LA crime. Read all the details from Greta.
Did you know that copper wire is apparently a very lucrative item to steal??? Well I learned that Monday night at our game because one set of the lights is out because someone stole the copper wire. It’s really trippy – you’ll be in that corner and you’ll be like, dang it’s dark. Then next point you’re down there and you’re like, hey I think it got brighter! Regardless, be careful in that corner.
TBD faced off against Scoober Divers. A fellow pink team. Whoops both teams forgot that was gonna be a thing and didn’t bring an extra set of jerseys. Luckily, between the two teams (and after a flip for color), Scoober Divers were able to field a non pink team. Thanks to everyone who donated a jersey to someone in need. I was also going to make a joke about SDs not throwing to Maria at all in the first half – but since her recap is already up you know it’s because she wasn’t there, so RIP my joke.
Scoobs came out strong and pretty sure they were leading in the beginning. TBD was like “ugh Mondays amiright?” Luckily we got it into our thicc pink jerseys that we were there to play a game. Lost my train of thought because I seem to only have time to write a sentence or two at a time and then stupid work gets in the way. Who even cares about dating shows right!? LOL a lot of people, that’s who.
Anyway – we did trade points at the beginning. Merlin threw the first of Scoobs points to Claire and Papa threw our first point to Dylan. I’d like to just throw it out there right now that Claire and Jackie were the MVPs of the game. They both had some crazy good defense with a number of run through D’s for both of them.
Eddie had this amazing put to Zesty that I’m still thinking about days later – he was up against the sideline and put it in perfect space up line into the endzone for Zesty (who’s cut was also perfect) to catch.
Some other highlights: Cory took a full 5 seconds to throw to a wide open stagnant Grant in the endzone (bro look up from your feet). Jackie had bookends. Scoobs lefty lady handler has some real nice spicy throws. Arista has perfect hucks as usual. Danielle came out strong with pulls and Cory actually completed a pass for a score to me! Shocking, honestly.
I know Scoobs was missing of men, apparently Cam is “injured.” Even though it may have happened while we were on the same summer league team? I can’t remember. Memory is hard! I have proof – just try remembering the score mid game. Regardless – they’re a very fun team to play and love their spirit. They joined us at the bar as well, which is always an extra gold star in my book.
Aww, Greta. You could have left the Maria not getting thrown to in the first half. I would have enjoyed it even if she did ruin the joke. Although, I really gotta say, I almost corrected your spelling of thick because… ew… I just. No. I don’t like it. It’s like how some people don’t like the word moist. I left it in to make sure to maintain the creative authenticity of your recap, but just know that it hurts me to do so.